'Housewives'' Perfect Pie
It's only been two episodes since she moved onto Wisteria Lane, and already Dana Delaney is proving to be deliciously wicked. That whole thing last week when Katherine suggested she wanted to cut down the beloved tree in Bree's backyard? Ah, just a warm-up.
This week she went for the jugular: Bree's homemaking skills. Specifically, the baking thing.
After suggesting a girls' lunch to cheer up chemotherapy-exhausted Lynette, Katherine upstages Bree by hiding her signature lemon meringue pie in the fridge and serving her own -- to huge compliments from the other housewives. And that simple mixed green salad she was supposed to bring? Try designer lettuce with duck confit and candied walnuts. Needless to say, this sends poor Bree so far off her rocker that she can later be found breaking into Katherine's house (how fabulous is it that Bree has a cupboard with keys to every house on Wisteria Lane?) and standing over her recipe box with a lock cutter.
"She will have stolen my total identity!" Bree moans, earlier in the show, while desperately trying to recreate Katherine's "perfect" pie.
Delaney is fabulously smug, but what she doesn't know is that Bree is now privy to one of her deep dark secrets -- or at least the fact that she has one -- after overhearing a spat between Katherine and her daughter, Dylan, who appears to have some kind of amnesia. Anyway, this is gearing up to be a great little Wisteria Lane catfight. But who will have the bigger secret -- Bree with her fake bump and pregnant teenage daughter off in isolation somewhere or Katherine, who has apparently brainwashed her daughter out of all memory and is lying to her like mad?
As for the rest of the housewives, Lynette is still getting chemo, Gaby is still doing the dirty deed with Carlos and if anyone was worried that marrying Mike would suddenly turn Susan into a stable wife and mother, well, never fear. Perfect teenager Julie is still the parent in that household (even if Susan has developed first trimester pregnancy boobs so quickly that she's now being mistaken for a stripper).
Since designing a fake suicide attempt didn't manage to glue Carlos to her permanently, Edie is now blackmailing him into an engagement. And Carlos apparently wants out so badly he's paying someone to knock her off.
But back to Gaby, who reluctantly joins Lynette at chemo and ends up revealing a tragic tale from her childhood. It's a breakthrough moment for Longoria, who doesn't usually get to show so much depth of character. Maybe she'll get back together with Carlos this season, and maybe Carlos will go back to jail. Gaby, though, gets more interesting by the day. Now, let's just dump that ridiculous politician husband of hers.
-- Jennifer Frey
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