"Dancing With the Stars:" And Fainting Too

So the night starts out with Marie Osmond passing out cold on the floor in that horrible blue dress. Quite a shocker, then a quick cut to a commercial. Back from the commercial break, Marie is functional for the scoring (alas, her score was a Mark Cuban-tying 21, and we all know what that means), before going to her trailer to recuperate.

Tom Bergeron tried to make it funny (telling us that Marie's first words when she awoke were "Oh, crap!") but the whole episode was more than a bit freaky. Fuller explanation expected tonight, when Marie will probably end up standing in the red spotlight, hoping that the public likes her more than Cuban, who tried to win audience points by wearing dork glasses.

I know this was said before in Week 1, but wow, does Jane Seymour have a fabulous back for someone her age. Her back is worthy of a repeat hurrah.

The trotting out of the "Beverly Hills" support teams for Jennie Garth resulted in an appearance by Tori Spelling, she of the scariest lips -- and lipstick, and lip liner -- in all of the 90210 zip code. Watched any reruns on SOAPnet lately? Yikes. And Tori didn't earn Jennie any favors; this week she dropped down to a 25.

It's time to get worried that Helio is falling off his game. His lowly 23 could put him in bottom-two trouble in the Cuban era, but hard to believe the male favorite to date is going home. Have to wonder, though, how much longer he can hold off Cameron Mathison for Male Hottie status, given a second straight week of Cameron on the upswing. Mathison's officially our wild card at this point.

But, really, is this all just going to end up as Cheetah Girl vs. a Spice Girl? The longer this competition goes on, the more you see the advantages of being a professional touring artist coming to the fore....

To the scoreboard:
Mel B: 29
Sabrina Bryan: 28
Cameron Mathison: 26
Jane Seymour: 26
Jennie Garth: 25
Helio Castroneves: 23
Mark Cuban: 21
Marie Osmond: 21

Jennifer Frey  |  October 23, 2007; 7:47 AM ET Dancing With the Stars
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