'Dancing': Helio Will Win, Hams Down!
So after taking in Helio's crowd-pleasing freestyle, I'm predicting that he's going to win, propelled to the finish line by the sheer fabulousness of his partner, Julianne.
Helio might be tossing her up in the air and spinning her around, but she's doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to dancing. Still, I've got to hand it to Helio: He knows how to sell a dance number, even when he's tripping over his own feet, as he did last night with the jive. Never let it be said that race-car driving isn't performance art. He turns on the twinkle, inviting the audience in on the fun. Who cares if he can't really dance?
This is, after all, a contest, and this is finals week. Which meant that the Final Three did whatever it took, reaching into their respective bags of tricks in a shameless grab for votes. Marie, to drive home her point -- "I'm a doll designer!" -- dressed up like, yes, you guessed it, a doll.
That inspired us to check out her Web site, Mariedolls.com. There, we discovered that one of her dolls, Adora Belle, has a blog. Yes, a blog, where said doll "writes" breathlessly about "Mommy." (Guess who?) As in, "Mommy says 'I think the same person who came up with Chia Heads also invented hair plugs for men!' She's funny!"
It scared me. In a Bride of Chucky kind of way.
Helio dressed up like a race-car driver, lest we forget that he's a not a dancer, but a race-car driver. Mel B dressed up like a... pole dancer? She propped up her (presumably) store-bought rack for both dance numbers. Poor Bruno. All he could do was stutter about her "visual impact." Mel tried a little too hard to dazzle last night, tossing out tricks -- she splits! she kicks! she gets tossed in the air! -- instead of doing what she does better than the rest: dance.
Carrie told her: "I think you're better than that. It didn't showcase all that you can do."
Very true. But it made me wonder: Carrie was judging the choreography, not Mel B's dancing. Given that this is a dancing contest, with non-dancers doing the dancing, is it fair to factor in the choreography? Or is it about the performance -- should a ham with two left feet take home the prize? Where does technique factor into the equation? Is it fair to judge a non-dancer like Marie on the same level as someone like Mel B, who's obviously had some dance training? And most important, who's going to get the biggest career boost from being on the show?
Mel B 55
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