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Posted at 6:00 AM ET, 07/31/2008

The Morning Line: Garfield -- Bring on the Crazy

By Michael Cavna

Enlarge Comic | Dr. Liz may administer her own lip injections, but her shots at Garfield are getting toothless. (Universal Press Syndicate)

Oh, we once had hope for Liz. Given her intelligence, education and access to large animal-prodding implements, we were optimistic that she would one day prove a worthy foe to Garfield. But in her efforts to make it work with Jon, her collagen-lipped self has become too damned, well, tolerant. A declawed enabler. All weak, heavy-lidded rejoinders and a wan smile. Which is why it's time for Jon -- and Jim Davis Inc. -- to dump her.

"Come off it!" some of you yowl. "Fat chance that Jon is ever going to do better than Dr. Liz, let alone Jennifer Love Hewitt." To which we say: "Now-now, trust us, we have just the woman for Jon -- and more important, for Garfield."

Folks, meet the comic-hopping Kelly Welly.

Enlarge Comic | Time for Kelly to train her lens -- and toxic tirades -- on the J. Arbuckle household. (North America Syndicate)

"That dangerous camera-wielding wackjob from 'Mark Trail'?!" you retort. "Exactly," we assure. Because Garfield can cope with sedate comic foils -- eat 'em for breakfast, even. But Kelly would bring the one ingredient that is Garfield's Kryptonite: pure unhinged, unrelenting chaos. She is the Joker to Liz's law-abiding Batman. And the first time K-Well and the G-Cat tangled as a crouched mountain lion looked on from the brush -- well, let's just say we'd relish the kitty kerfuffle.

Right up until Garfield fed Odie to the puma for lunch.

So what say you? Which potential love interest from another strip would get all up in Garfield's grill?

COMING LATER TODAY: "Pearls Before Swine" creator Stephan Pastis chats up films, fuzzy toys and catfights.

By Michael Cavna  | July 31, 2008; 6:00 AM ET
Categories:  The Morning Line  
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Next: The Interview: 'Pearls Before Swine's' Stephan Pastis


I was going to suggest Rose, from "Rose is Rose". Her biker alter ego would keep Garfield down.

But I think a better choice would be the mom from Sally Forth. She looks pretty young and she'd definitely be more interesting, day-to-day, than Liz. Liz plays the part of the sidekick in old radio shows: someone to ask questions so the hero can describe the scene to an audience that can't see the scenery. What's easier, draw a moat or have Liz ask about it?

Posted by: f2 | July 31, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Sally Forth would be bored to death. I was thinking, how about instead of a love interest, Jon just gets a friend: the guy from Get Fuzzy. Going back to an earlier post, that would set the perfect stage for the Garfield v. Bucky death-match!

Posted by: JEGS | July 31, 2008 9:10 AM | Report abuse

Hey, it's the 21st Century -- why couldn't the guy from Get Fuzzy be a love interest?

They outed Michael's friend Lawrence on For Better or for Worse, and that was years ago!

Posted by: Why not? | July 31, 2008 10:10 AM | Report abuse

I'm interested in what you think of the site "Garfield Minus Garfield." On one hand, it takes a criminally boring strip and infuses it with humor and, on occasion, Deep Meaning. On the other hand, it's sort of "defacing" an artists work. So since you're on a "Take Down Garfield" riff, could you do a post on this fabulous project?

Posted by: Omaha | July 31, 2008 10:41 AM | Report abuse

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