The Morning Line: "Judge Parker" & the Lemon Law
Damn you, "Judge Parker" -- you confound us and bedevil us like no other. You tempt us with sleek lines and winning curves, but then, as soon as we drive you off the metaphorical lot, you sputter and die at our feet.
You, Judge Parker, are the Jaguar of the comics world. And yet we keep climbing back in and footing the cosmic bill.
At first glance, today's strip seems to offer beautiful contrasts, a bevy of textures. For aesthetic starters, you're the only multi-panel strip on the Post pages today that doesn't chop the action into tidy boxes; we "heart" your Feng Shui. Then there are the dynamic black strokes, and the apparent use of Wite-Out (or equivalent tool) to "bleed" Sam's shoulder into the shadows -- bellissima! Just when we start to settle in and bask in the arty comfort, suddenly -- what the...?!? -- you go and point a dialogue balloon at Sam's...knee? From "Zippy," this would be all in good surreal fun; from you, "JP," it is simply sloppy nonsense -- you have kneecapped our Art Appreciation, Tonya Harding-style.
And while we're dissecting the whole toad here, you could probably go with, oh, about three fewer stereotypes when depicting a character who looms as the "heavy." Straight outta Central Casting, you make this fella: (a) portly; (b) bald; (c) goateed -- then (d), you go and name him "Cheatham." All that's missing is a fat stogie dangling from his lip and a hairless cat that he shows an unnatural attachment to.
So much styling, such a lovely exterior -- and within seconds, "Judge," you've driven us back into the ditch.
Which comics today have you busting a gut or venting a spleen?
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| August 5, 2008; 6:00 AM ET
Categories: The Morning Line
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