The Morning Line: Turn Your Head and Coif...
This blog at last has its blessed mantra:"I don't feel it's healthy to keep your faults bottled up inside me."
Ahh. One twisted pronoun, but pure poetry.
Those inspired words are spouted by the crazy-eyed kitty that is Bucky, who never met a man he didn't like to belittle. Today in "Get Fuzzy," Bucky trains his tart tongue on Rob Wilco's thin-nibbed coiffure: "Your hair reminds me of a sea urchin. Zero stars."
Darby Conley's conceit has us convinced that Bucky should be unleashed upon the rest of the comics page, to dig his verbal fangs into most everyone's mortal locks. We offer these faux-Buckyisms merely to get this party started -- yours will surely be more amusing. To wit:
1. AGNES'S GRANDMA: "Your bizarre bob looks like a cross between rogue coral and a Mediterranean land mass. One star!"
2. BREWSTER: "Your freakish helmet-hair looks like a weed whacker sparred with a bag of mini-marshmallows. Minus-12 stars!"
3. ZIPPY: "Is that a mutant parsnip on your chrome-dome, or can your skull suddenly harvest tubers? F-minus!"
4. LIO: " Your cowlick looks like the Chrysler Building after being piddled upon by Satchel. No grade for you!"
Everyone from Dilbert to Frazz is ripe for the plucking, tonsorially speaking. Bring it on.
| August 28, 2008; 6:01 AM ET
Categories: The Morning Line
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