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Posted at 6:01 AM ET, 08/28/2008

The Morning Line: Turn Your Head and Coif...

By Michael Cavna

This blog at last has its blessed mantra:"I don't feel it's healthy to keep your faults bottled up inside me."

Ahh. One twisted pronoun, but pure poetry.

Those inspired words are spouted by the crazy-eyed kitty that is Bucky, who never met a man he didn't like to belittle. Today in "Get Fuzzy," Bucky trains his tart tongue on Rob Wilco's thin-nibbed coiffure: "Your hair reminds me of a sea urchin. Zero stars."

GET FUZZY: When food critics get bored. (UPS) Enlarge Comic

Darby Conley's conceit has us convinced that Bucky should be unleashed upon the rest of the comics page, to dig his verbal fangs into most everyone's mortal locks. We offer these faux-Buckyisms merely to get this party started -- yours will surely be more amusing. To wit:

Hair by 'Sherman's Lagoon.' (Creators) Enlarge Comic

1. AGNES'S GRANDMA: "Your bizarre bob looks like a cross between rogue coral and a Mediterranean land mass. One star!"

'Does my hair look like a Great Lake?' (TMS) Enlarge Comic

2. BREWSTER: "Your freakish helmet-hair looks like a weed whacker sparred with a bag of mini-marshmallows. Minus-12 stars!"

'My scalp also sprouts chilled carrots.' (KFS) Enlarge Comic

3. ZIPPY: "Is that a mutant parsnip on your chrome-dome, or can your skull suddenly harvest tubers? F-minus!"

'There's Something About Lio.' (UPS) Enlarge Comic

4. LIO: " Your cowlick looks like the Chrysler Building after being piddled upon by Satchel. No grade for you!"

Everyone from Dilbert to Frazz is ripe for the plucking, tonsorially speaking. Bring it on.

By Michael Cavna  | August 28, 2008; 6:01 AM ET
Categories:  The Morning Line  
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French Twists are SO 20th century. OK on your mom. So NOT on you. The judges award a 1.5 for your Mrs. Walton hair.

Posted by: Elizabeth Patterson | August 28, 2008 11:39 AM | Report abuse

We recently got to see Dagwood getting his bizarre haircut, so shall we someday the creation of Big Nate's tonsure? I especially want to see how a military barber gets away with Beetle Bailey's styling!

Posted by: Seismic-2 | August 28, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

And how about today's secret identity revelation of the character Pierce in Zits.

Posted by: Quite A Difference | August 28, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

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