The Morning Line: Politicos Answer the Casting Call

Condoleezza Rice apparently makes for great cartoon fodder. Everyone from Aaron McGruder to Berkeley Breathed has co-opted Condi for sport, sassing or mockery.

Today's "Curtis," though, invokes the secretary of state in a manner that skeeves me out even more than the creepiest "Lio." Gunther -- or so he tells us -- once dated Condi. The joke, of course, is on Gunther and his presumed lying braggodicio.

One night Gladys would soon rather forget. (KFS) Enlarge Comic

Ms. Rice's quasi-appearance in the strip, however, does get me to wondering: As Bush administration figures leave (or have left) the White House, are they available for cartoon work?

Today, 'Riffs plays employment service and places some political figures in the comics. To wit:

1. VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Dick could be a boon to quite a few comics given his strong persona. My clear front-runner would be Sarge in "Beetle Bailey." Dick could sling profanities at underlings; he could plan eternally for war; and mostly, he could shoot Beetle in the face (while hunting, natch) and not be court-martialed.

2. SCOTT McCLELLAN: One group doesn't respect him. Then, his former clan all but disowns home. Could Scott really play anyone other than Charlie Brown?
Even his dog has snubbed him. We'll send over a tailor to fit Scotty Mac for his own zigzagged shirt.

3. CINDY McCAIN: Some might try to cast John's wife in "Blondie," but I'm convinced the role as Dennis the Menace's mom is a much truer fit. John McCain, though, is perfect for Mr. Wilson.

4. DONALD RUMSFELD: Rummy was born to play Hagar, the eternal warrior who flashes both dark humor and a dossier of military mishaps.

5. BARNEY THE DOG: Barney is a shoo-in to play Mark Trail's pooch, Andy. You think Andy saved HIS master by untying the ropes during a kidnapping? That's nothing compared with Barney did for Master Bush's mortal enemy: He bit a reporter.

6. HILLARY CLINTON: Were she not busy preparing to fill Condi's shoes, 'Riffs would ask Hillary to play dual roles. She would cameo as Mrs. Trellis in "On the Fastrack" (she would at last be in charge), but would also portray Pam in "Brewster Rockit." After all, she has years of experience playing opposite a fair-haired male lead who has stepped into a whole mess o' trouble.

Those are the 'Riffs' picks. What are yours?