The Morning Line: When Santa's Act Ain't Worth Zip

As we here at 'Riffs count down the Christmas-week toons, the one that takes the (fruit)cake today is "Baldo" because, really, what is going on here? Has the store Santa simply forgotten to zip his fly?

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(Not exactly laffs of comfort there.) Is there some sort of meta-commentary meant to play on every creepy stereotype about mall Clauses? (And how, exactly, is she wording the news anyway: "Your door to the reindeer barn is open"?)

ELSEWHERE 'ROUND THE PAGE...

In "Get Fuzzy," Bucky utters perhaps the most honest thing that's ever passed those mischievous whiskers: "It's urgent. I know. Now, I have no idea why, but people like dogs."

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You could give B-Katt a little kitty lie-detector and, based on that statement, he'd pass with flying colors. Superb touch.

Meantime, in "Little Dog Lost," I just have to ask: Is that really what I think it is?

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Over breakfast, am I staring at a dung beetle rolling a real "meadow muffin"? If so, I confess: That -- THAT -- is a first for me on the mainstream "family newspaper" comics page.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn't point out how fun is the first-panel dialogue in "Judge Parker" -- particuarly the phrase "and probably dead in the desert by morning."

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See, you could transplant those two balloons to most any other strip featuring two-character dialogue and -- by substituting the "JP" wording -- it becomes infinitely funnier.

That's my holiday-toon advice. What's yours?