The Morning Line: 'Tis the Time for Painful Holiday Punning

Even if you're not a regular reader of "Dennis the Menace" and "The Family Circus," they are required reading today for one reason:

"Some people call 'em reindeer, but I call 'em santalope." (KFS)Enlarge Comic

They officially mark the start of the Christmas Punning Season. Whether you enjoy this cartooning time of year depends on your appetite for wordplay spun from eggnog, nutmeg and industrial-stength fruitcake.

So to help you prepare for the onslaught of holiday homonyms and twisted carols, Comic Riffs offers some of our own. Consider it a sort of Advent calendar for Christmas wordplay: You can begin to count down the season with these painful puns. Imagine these single-panel captions:

1. "FAMILY CIRCUS": JEFFY (to PJ): "Mommy says this gospel tune is sung by ELVES Presley."

2. "FRANK & ERNEST": ERNEST: "I've got the gold and myrrh, buddy, but I just can't find Frank's incense."

3. "ARGYLE SWEATER": The psychiatrist at Santa's workshop: "Take this medication, my friend. You, it seems, are a bi-polar bear."

(KFS)Enlarge Comic

4. "DENNIS THE MENACE": DENNIS (to Joey): "Careful where you step in bare feet. Mom says that if you get catch mistle "toe," a girl has to kiss it!"

5. "BIZARRO":: POLICE OFFICER: "We traced the crime back to Santa's workshop. Apparently this was a case of extreme ELF-loathing."

Don't say we didn't warn you.

ELSEWHERE 'ROUND THE PAGE

DIALOGUE O' THE DAY:

(UFS) Enlarge Comic

Bucky Katt, explaining his plan to dissolve Congress, says in a virtual aside: "No one will object to that." Gotta like how Darby Conley slips that in just so.

GREAT MOMENTS IN BODY LANGUAGE:

(UPS) Enlarge Comic

In the final panel of today's "Cul de Sac," Dad leans against the countertop with that just-right weight shift and physical tension. Well-rendered, Mr. Thompson.

TODAY'S COMIC CURIOSITY:

(KFS) Enlarge Comic

This "Sally Forth" storyline holds great promise. Only thing we can't figure out: What happened to Jeff's right-sleeve strips in the first panel? Fashion statement or artistic oversight? You decide.