The Morning Line: Strong Stomachs Required
From probed eyeballs to ailing tootsies, today's funnies aren't for the squeamish.
Before you dig into "The Piranha Club," for instance, you might wanna finish breakfast.
Somehow, waxing on about ingrown toenails -- let alone brain surgery via the femoral artery -- might make that bagel-and-scrambies a little less appetizing. Unless you're a medical professional, of course -- I've got a few in my family, and such talk only seems to enhance their dining experience.
Similarly sporting denuded feet is "Agnes," in which Agnes is up for a gentle massage of her sizable grape-stompers.
Yow. Yet again, I recommend setting aside your hash browns for the time being.
Also rearing its head is "Zippy the Pinhead," in which our mortality-mulling clown, stripped down to his skivvies, is learning from his nurse that he has "th' eyeballs of a fifteen-year-old."
Yeesh. Put DOWN the Denver omelette.
Also flashing an ocular fixation is "Lio," as our fave goth-tyke retrieves a Titleist for the cyclopping zombie.
So what's our Breakfast Gross-Out Warning Label for today's "Lio"? There is none -- I laughed out loud without even pausing before wolfing down my Wheaties.
ELSEWHERE 'ROUND THE PAGE...
In "The Amazing Spider-Man," don't miss that telltale note on Maria's desk. And I can't hep but marvel: What are the odds that Maria's handwriting would be so uncannily similar to the Spidey artist's balloon lettering. Amazing, that.
| December 9, 2008; 6:00 AM ET
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