The Riff: In Tough Times, Let Them Eat Cake--Or Candy

Give "Sally Forth" its just due, if not its just desserts. Today's strip offers an observation that not only elicits a smile, but also sends me scurrying to the company vending machines.

The corporate structure: You are what you eat. (KFS) Enlarge Comic

Is how a company stocks its candy dispensers really a sign of its financial status? And does the cafeteria actually hold cash-flow clues behind the "mystery meat"?

That got 'Riffs to imagining how different institutions might stock their fructose-filled machines in these troubled times. I came up with these; 'Riffs welcomes your more-inspired suggestions:

ANY TIGHT-FISTED BANK:
The Hershey's Kiss-off (for civilian lenders only).

BEAR STEARNS:
Snickers (for bailed-out execs who can laugh at Lehman Bros., the poor saps).

AIG:
Chuckles (see: Bear Stearns).

FANNIE MAE: "100 Grand" Bar (or as it's now known: "chump change").

GENERAL MOTORS:
Airheads (boys, boys -- never fly the private jet to the Hill).

FORD:
Goobers (see: General Motors).

CHRYSLER:
Nutrageous (see: Ford).

YAHOO!:
Nerds.

TRIBUNE CO.:
Good and Plenty (Journalists eat sarcasm for breakfast).

U.S. TREASURY DEPT.:
York Peppermint Patties. (Who better to handle the Mint?)

U.S. SENATE BANKING COMMITTEE:
LifeSavers (The Big 3 is a-prayin').

THE WHITE HOUSE:
Jolly Rancher (at least till Jan. 20).

McDONALD's:
Altoids (business is "curiously strong").

CAMPBELL SOUP COMPANY:
Payday (At least someone is turning a recession-period profit).