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Posted at 9:30 AM ET, 06/ 1/2009

Does 'Fatal Attraction' Plot Pass the Rabbit Test?

By Michael Cavna

The morning's breakneck roundup of eye-catching -- or head-scratching -- cartoons:

SALLY FORTH (to view strip, click HERE):
Is Ted Forth a walking meatbag of delusion, or simply just pathetic? Francesco Marciuliano seems to knowingly toe that very line. Today, Ted -- showing all the worldiness of a 9-year-old boy stuck in a two-horse town -- half-seriously mulls whether Aria will go all "Fatal Attraction" on him.

For the record: I am quite disappointed in Teddy Boy. Not because he's so socially lame-o, but rather because as a True Student of '80s Films, Ted should properly recall that he needs to have had actual RELATIONS with The Other Woman to make this a true "Fatal Attraction," boil-the-bunny scenario. And not, simply, to have had improper thoughts about discussing "The Last Starfighter" over Lunchables with The Woman Not-So-Scorned.


CANDORVILLE: Further evidence that Dick Cheney is getting more face-time since leaving the White House than he ever did during his days residing on Naval Observatory grounds.

'JUDGE PARKER' (NAS)Enlarge Image

JUDGE PARKER: Today, Eduardo Barreto is not merely illustrating. No, today, Eddie is flat-out showing off. The sports car...the galloping horse...the home's facade...the pasture silhouettes and shaded tree. Element for element, Barreto is putting on a visual clinic. Watch and learn, boys and girls! You won't find this in "Mary Worth"! Ever.

'AGNES' (Creators)Enlarge Image


AGNES and FRANK & ERNEST: On the Family Tree o' Jokes, these gags are practically first cousins. Similar DNA, sure. It's just that as with real families sometimes, the "Agnes" has a little more polish, a lot more flair -- and clearly got the brains in the family. "Frank," on the other hand, is the relation that will always be the flock's dumber, unfunny duckling. (Which would explain why "F&E" felt the need to write "Math" on the blackboard, even though the student's word-balloon already identifies it as such. Audible sigh.)

'SPIDER MAN' (KFS)Enlarge Image

SPIDEY: Official 'Riffs Question of the Day: The sudden appearance of Wolverine in "Spider-Man," with the film still in theaters -- does that smack to you of:
(a) Inspiration.
(b) Desperation.
(c) Absolute creative desolation.

( *

By Michael Cavna  | June 1, 2009; 9:30 AM ET
Categories:  The Morning Line  
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(d) Really bad timing. A Wolverine story should have started about six months ago since that is about how long it takes Spidey to ever get around to throwing a punch.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 1, 2009 10:47 AM | Report abuse

How about - 'business as usual'? Comics have been about cross-overs and merchandising since they started in the 1890s.

I'd pick inspiration, but it really should have started at the same time as the movie, but I imagine that's Marvel's handlers screwup. You know they've got handlers on the strip or the "One More Day" storyline would never have been stuck in.

Posted by: Mrhode | June 1, 2009 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Ted's non-affair with Aria not only didn't happen, Ted never even intended for it to happen, or even imagined that it **might** happen. He was simply picking a playmate for his sci-fi game playing, just as a 5-year-old kid would do. Ted's "fantasy" life is not only non-sexual, it's non-terrestrial.

So why does Ted get worried that Aria interprets his intentions otherwise? Well, that was just what Sally did in January, when she was playing like the hurt party (in a love triangle in which the third side never even showed up!). After Sally got so shrewish and threatening towards Ted, it's no wonder that now he thinks that Aria too would be likely to boil his bunny. (And we just **know** that he does in fact have a stuffed one somewhere in his closet, probably in the form of a pair of bunny slippers.)

Posted by: seismic-2 | June 1, 2009 1:55 PM | Report abuse

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