The Riffys: Betty, Veronica and the Colbert Sandwich

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Sometimes great minds and your humble blogger -- overcoming the longest of odds -- think alike. And in this rare case, it involves the "lifelong" libidinal choices of Archie the 70-Year-Old Virgin.

Now, nation, this past week, both "The Colbert Report" and "Comic Riffs" had great fun at Betty and Veronica's expense. Coming out of Comic-Con, Riffs knew it had to report on Archie's impending stunt-nuptials for fun and sport Tuesday. About 12 hours after I filed, Colbert taped his take.

The differences? Riffs went with the cheeky title "Arch Rivals"; Colbert went with "Arch Enemies." The Post discussed "archie-types"; Colbert pictured them. Riffs merely implied suggestive variations on a threesome (family paper, dontcha know); Colbert explicitly laid them out. And Colbert discussed grabbing a Sharpie to draw the conspicuously same-bodied Betty and Veronica; here at 'Riffs, we literally, deadline nearing, were drafted to draw Betty and Veronica's unibodies -- with, yes, a Sharpie.

But here's where Colbert's writers -- presumably on tight turnaround -- are some kinda brilliant: They grafted commentary about Hillary Clinton onto Betty with deft, hilarious precision. And for that, the Writers of Colbert win this week's official Video Riffy Award.

Elsewhere, our Trailer Riffy of the Week goes to this, for Spider-Woman:

'SPIDER-MAN' (KFS)Enlarge Image

Speaking of Spidey's world: The Riffy for being About As Helpful As Veronica goes to Spidey's squeeze. With friends like these, who needs archenemies?

'BIG NATE' (NEA)Enlarge Image

The Riffy for Fave Strip O' the Week Goes to "Doctor Cesspool," with "Freckles and "Gabby" getting the runner-up Riffy.