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Posted at 1:15 PM ET, 10/30/2009

Riffs' Picks: The five scariest Halloween links this minute...

By Michael Cavna

THE FRIDAY LINE: From tee-offs to teed-off, here are today's most frightening cartoon links, culled from across the mighty mighty Web...

5. FROM CRADLE TO GRAVE -- AND BEYOND: On Thursday night's show, Stephen Colbert ran a terrifying -- if you consider an unyielding swarm of babbling and brain-dead TV pundits "terrifying," and I do -- montage of talking heads applying two-bit Halloween metaphors to healthcare-reform plans. The Blow-Dried Bunch should really leave it to Beeler. In his craftier hands, the Washington Examiner's NATE BEELER delivers a defter metaphor with a vividness that sends chills down our pre-existing condition of a spine.

4. BETWEEN IRAQ AND A HARD CLUB-FACE: When Comic Riffs sat with seven of the 10 USO-touring cartoonists last Friday, they spoke of driving golf balls into the man-made lake at Saddam Hussein's former palace. Never could we have imagined, however, just how bone-chilling the action got. This CHIP BOK GOLF SWING (hardly a "Chip" shot at all) might be the ugliest swing we've seen since, oh, Arnold Palmer (you wanna talk about a guy who had a real Army.) And we all know how Arnie's little career turned out. But really, we might be antsy, too, knowing the prior tenant that was the Madman Across the Water was rumored to have kept some nasty-looking beasts in this lake, in true Bond-villain style.

As for the ink-stained duffers, we of course tease as we applaud -- their support of troops during the Mideast and Germany trip was a good and swell contribution.

3. ALONG KABUL-STONED STREETS: The scariest haunted house we'll see this season comes from the Apple-rendered imaginings of the Detroit News's MIKE THOMPSON.

2. IN HIGH DUDGEON: Noooo! The most spine-tingling spectre yet today is the thought of the ever-talented political cartoonist WALT HANDELSMAN being trapped in the Tower of London, hidden by the dungeon that is a newly erected pay wall. But our worst fears are realized: As Editor&Publisher confirms, Newsday has put up new pay wall. Unless, of course, Newsday helps pave the way for all newspapers to tap a Fort Knox of revenue streams, Should that occur, then we're positively thrilled.

Annnd today's scariest image...

1. JACK-O'ING US AROUND : Despite the concern and consternation we noted yesterday, it is not this week's rendering of naked "Catch-22" characters in "FRAZZ." that has us most horrified as we shield all young eyes. Nay, the truly spooky spectre is today's jack-o'-lantern attire. Namely, the changing FACE of these holiday tops. Even creepier than the new "Robot Chicken" spoof of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" -- YouTubing humor too blue to link to from a family-paper blog -- are these Haunted Togs of the Undead. Oh, "Frazz," here's the big-time irony: The youngsters would LOVE this clothing.

Some days, denying such a treat is the ultimate trick.

If you've got spine-tingling Halloween cartoon links to share, 'Riffs is dying -- or undying -- to see 'em.

By Michael Cavna  | October 30, 2009; 1:15 PM ET
Categories:  General  
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