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The Belgian Brew-haha: Part 2

Our threats seem to have worked--for now. Yesterday I laid out the compelling argument for invading Belgium. (Imagine Colin Powell without the satellite photos.) By the afternoon Belgian bank KBC Group was backing down on its demand that Metro fork over $43 million by today. The fact that a federal judge was prepared to issue an emergency order may have had something to do with it, but I prefer to think it was the overwhelming support for my war plan shown by commenters on my blog that swayed the Belgies.

Wrote CJH2: "If we invade... it would put the US in position of controlling much of the world's best beer. Let's go! :-)" That emoticon is either a smiley face or what CJH2 looks like after too many pints of Stella.

TerpPhysicist
approves of invading Belgium for its "strategic beer reserves." JosiahSchmoe writes: "Most importantly, it will allow us to repatriate Anheuser-Busch. Reclaiming our pissy American beer is enough reason to go to war."

That's right, my friends. Don't forget that Belgian brewing giant InBev now owns the Budweiser Clydesdales. Can we sit idly by while the Clydesdales are put out to pasture and replaced by Brabants, which as you know is a breed of Belgian draft horse? Why I would sooner have the American eagle replaced by the Canadian loon.

If Belgium is allowed to control American beer we may find our "drinkable" beer replaced with beer that actually has some flavor. And from there it's a slippery slope on the road to creeping Europeanification: outdoor cafes, self-consciously arty movies and universal healthcare. We had better nip this in the "Bud"--heh, heh. Our armies will stand down for now, thanks to the Belgian bank's wise decision to postpone its demand for Metro's money. But this is not over. As EricS2 wrote: "Yes, invade! Brew baby, brew!"

BritNews RoundUp
The Daily Mail reports that a life-saving hernia operation was performed on a...fish. Carla, an exotic fish at the London Aquarium, is back in the swim of things after the procedure.

According to the Times of London, some Russian Communists are upset that a Russian (well, Ukrainian) actress is among the new Bond girls. They see it as a betrayal, since James Bond has killed so many KGB agents in his films. No word on whether people with orthodontia are still upset over Richard Kiel's portrayal of the metal-mouthed Jaws.

Back to the Daily Mail, which breaks the news that the Duchess of York is getting older. And it has the pictures to prove it.

And just when you thought the Chinese tainted-food scandal couldn't get any worse, consumers in Australia are being warned not to use a chocolate-flavored body paint that is contaminated with melamine. "Heavy users" are urged to switch to a different brand. "Heavy users"? I guess if you frequently eat chocolate off of your mate you would end up heavy.

The Mousse That Roared
Finally, speaking of chocolate, and in honor of some columns earlier this week, I offer this tasty treat, which I copied down verbatim from the dessert menu at Da Marco Italian restaurant in Silver Spring:

Cappuccino Mousecake
Chocolate coffee-flavored mouse with cappaccino nuggets

Yum!

And don't forget: Join me at noon today for my weekly online chat.

By John Kelly  |  October 31, 2008; 10:00 AM ET
 | Tags: Belgium, Britnews roundup, Metro, beer  
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Comments

Ahh yes. Nothing better than being in Belgium and drinking a glass of Delirium Tremens!

Posted by: charley42 | October 31, 2008 7:42 PM | Report abuse

As a Belgian I am very relieved that we are not getting invaded by the US after all, allhough I did like the novelty factor of not getting invaded by one of our European neighbours for a change.

Now we can all live in peace and continue our mussels-with-fries-eating, saxophone-playing, forcing-our-kids-to-eat-brussels-sprouts, trappist-beer-drinking ways.

thanks!

Posted by: CedricVD | November 1, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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