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BritNews RoundUp: Kids Today? Sheesh

During our family's year in England we became familiar with a species known as Adolescentus Brittanicus: the British teenager. They don't all chug cider and vomit on sidewalks, or dress in hooded sweatshirts and gather menacingly outside the chip shop, but enough of them do to provide a bit of local color, like the Beefeaters at the Tower of London.

In many ways, the girls are worse than the boys. Slathered in makeup, dressed in either sprayed-on jeans or microskirts, and shod in Uggs (always Uggs--ugh), in our part of the country they constituted what I called the Oxford Skankocracy.

And don't think that having students wear a school uniform has any effect, as this story from the Daily Mail makes clear: "Pupil reduced to tears after teacher tells her: That short skirt makes you look like a slut and does nothing for your cellulite."

The reactionary, right-wing Daily Mail could have gone either way with that story. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if they'd decided to attack the 13-year-old girl who wore the miniskirt. Or her mother ("Skirting the issue: Why are UK mums such bad role models?"). Instead they chose to demonize teachers, whom they seem to hate even more.

Speaking of Adolescentus Brittanicus, here's the cover story from the tabloid Sun today: "Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13." Said 4-foot-tall Alfie: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble." One has to ask: What's it all about, Alfie?

And now, in honor of Valentine's Day, comes this story from the Daily Mail: "Woman recreates American Beauty nude pose for her Valentine - only to discover he's never seen the film." You remember the scene: Mena Suvari naked in a rose petal-strewn bed. Turns out Lesley Heague's boyfriend's favorite movie is "American Gangster."

Is there anyone who doesn't like Lego? Oh, I suppose you may scream out in pain when you tread upon a piece in your bare feet. And getting one stuck in your windpipe would be a bummer. But for the most part the world loves the little plastic building bricks from Denmark. When we visited Denmark eight years ago, Legoland was a must-see attraction.

Now comes word that Lego is planning to introduce a mobile phone. With most phones the only thing you can snap off and snap in is the battery. This phone looks a bit more customizable.

Finally, anyone see this odd little news brief: "State, U.K. Sign Climate Pact"? (Scroll down to last item.) Virginia Gov. Kaine and Britain's ambassador to the U.S., Nigel Sheinwald, signed an agreement to cut greenhouse emissions. Since when do states enter treaties with countries? I guess a Virginia smoking ban would be a step in the right direction.

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By John Kelly  |  February 13, 2009; 10:30 AM ET
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Next: VD on Valentine's Day: A Gift That Keeps on Giving


Interesting concept. I doubt that it matters to Lesley Heague's boyfriend, Luke, whether or NOT he has SEEN the movie.

Now if you will excuse me, I think I have some "beauties" of my own to pluck ;)

Posted by: iremembrmama | February 13, 2009 11:51 AM | Report abuse

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