Are Cousins the Worst Relatives?
It's a bad time to be a cousin.
Baseball's Alex Rodriguez said his cousin was the one who injected him with steroids. The Washington Nationals are embarrassed about the $1.4 million signing bonus they gave to a Dominican ballplayer who lied about his age. Carlos Daniel Alvarez Lugo said his cousin thought up the scheme.
Cousins: They're not as biologically close as brothers or sisters, but not as biologically distant as random friends. They're relatives, but without the crushing history that family implies. And they just may be the worst relatives out there.
Sure, they seem cool when you see them every year at the beach or around the Thanksgiving turkey. But isn't it usually a cousin who cajoles you into doing something stupid, like diving off the high dive or taking your first bong hit? Unless, of course, you're the one handing the bong to your cousins. That makes you the evil cousin.
And "evil cousin," it turns out, is slang for a crystal methamphetamine dealer who deals over the phone. At least according to the Urban Dictionary.
Don't even think about "kissing cousins," which sounds kind of sweet until you consider the genetic train wreck that it can lead inexorably to.
Do you agree? Are cousins nothing but evil demons bent on luring you into a life of crime?
I bet A-Rod is wishing his parents had been only children.
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