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D@#% It, Janet: An Uplifting Case of Mistaken Identity

It's not easy being a PR person. I know. I was one. (At least part of one. In my first job after college I had to occasionally write press releases and call reporters.) Still, I cringe whenever I see an example of bad and lazy PR.

I usually delete the shotgun e-mails I get from PR firms, the e-mails that suggest the person on the sending end doesn't really know who I am or what I do. This one I saved, however, since it's so gloriously misguided. Here's how it begins:

Hi Janet,

Hope all is well!

Well right off the bat we have a problem. I haven't been called "Janet" since my sex-change operation. Thank you for wishing me well, though.

With warm weather swiftly approaching, so is the necessity for comfortable, stylish and affordable strapless and convertible bras!

Okay, I admit that got my attention. Notwithstanding the sex-change operation, I do have an interest in ladies' undergarments. And who knew there even was such a thing as a "convertible" bra?

Budget-friendly lingerie line Affinitas Intimates, retailing in numerous boutiques and online retailers all throughout the U.S., offers a wide range of bras that can convert to strapless, racerback and other styles to wear underneath your favorite summer dresses, tanks and rompers this Spring/Summer! All under $28, Affinitas has:

- Strapless/Balconet

- Racerback

- T-Shirt

- Plunge

- Push-Up

Ah, so that's what "convertible" means. I'm accustomed to it meaning going topless. But a convertible bra is one that can shift-shape like some Harry Potter demon, from strapless to racerback and back again. I'm a little stumped by "balconet," though. Is it a tiny balcony or a lesser noble ("Introducing the Balconet Sir Laurence Higby-Jones")? And I know what a push-up bra is, but a plunge bra?

As you’re working on your upcoming fashion/lifestyle stories for, I’d love for you to consider a story on strapless/convertible bras to time with the arrival of Spring!

Spring or Spring/Summer? And I was really hoping to encounter at least one paragraph that didn't have an exclamation point in it. All this talk of bras is exciting enough! There's no need to overuse that punctuation mark!

Thank you so much!

All the best,

You're welcome, Lauren. I'm afraid, however, that the fashion/lifestyle package I'm working on for, um,, the one that's timed with the arrival of Spring, is titled: "Bras: Who Needs 'Em? I Certainly Don't. And I Should Know. Or My Name's Not Janet!"

Okay, readers, what's the most inappropriate e-mail or letter you received?

By John Kelly  |  March 20, 2009; 9:00 AM ET
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I got a "Dear Mr..." the other day, and had to call the sender back with a question. I told her she had just sent me an email and she insisted for a few minutes that she had not sent me the info (I am a woman and have a woman's voice), until she agreed to check her system and asked for my first and last name. The email I got a few minutes last started "I'm sorry."

Posted by: capecodner424 | March 20, 2009 10:18 AM | Report abuse

well, mr nall92 just rec'd a inappropriate email last night. he was doing some work painting for a friend of my couin. well instead of calling my hubby last night and cancelling, the guy sends a text message, meant for my cousing, stating "don't tell 'mr nall92' but i told him i had a working dinner meeting to get out of painting tonight so i can watch the game.'

what an idiot, first of all the text was meant for my cousin who would have told anyway and second of all why lie? your paying my hubby to work not the other way around and 3rd of all how childish can you be!

either way hubby is tackin on an extra 30 bucks for the waste of time. he could have been doing other work.

Posted by: nall92 | March 20, 2009 1:32 PM | Report abuse

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