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All the News That's Fit to Reprint

From time to time I get letters or e-mails that read, "Thanks so much for your column. The news in the rest of the paper is so depressing." Sometimes the readers thank me for my happy stories. Sometimes they say they don't read the rest of the paper.

I don't set out to write only happy stories and I don't approve of people not reading the rest of the paper. Some of my stories are sad (wait till you read the different ways Washingtonians prepare a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; it'll make you weep). And the rest of the paper can be quite hilarious, if you know how to read it.

For example, today's Metro story about the Fairfax County middle school employee charged with stealing things from his school is a real knee-slapper. First of all there's his job -- Antonio Dawson was the security and safety assistant at Kilmer Middle School. Then there's this lovely bit:

Apart from the alleged stealing, [school police officer Mike] Allen said, Dawson was good at his job.

"He had a great relationship with the kids," Allen said.

Ha ha ha.

If you don't at least skim the paper you won't be able to make the broad connections that examining the full sweep of news provides. For example, I don't know why anyone's surprised that PCP is use on the comeback. Everything else from the '70s and '80s has returned. "Knight Rider's" back on TV; "Land of the Lost" is coming to movie theaters; MTV and VH-1 are one long "I Love the [fill in pertinent decade here]"-fest. Even HIV and AIDS are in vogue again.

If I were you I'd start investing in stirrup pants and leg warmers now.

By John Kelly  |  March 17, 2009; 9:00 AM ET
 
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Comments

Just wanted to say Happy St. Patrick's Day, from a Joyce (yes, supposedly distantly related to James Joyce) to a Kelly.

Posted by: spyderjerusalem | March 17, 2009 9:22 AM | Report abuse

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