The Wonderful World of Crime
The criminal mind is a fascinating thing, especially to those of us who aren't criminals. I confess it's kind of entertaining, too. Why do bad guys do what they do?
For example, on Monday, March 16, in Loudoun County Circuit Court, 21-year-old Jhonny Lopez pleaded guilty to malicious wounding and identity theft stemming from a March 1 incident at Dulles Town Center Mall. Here's what happened, according to a press release from the Commonwealth Attorney's office:
Lopez, and an employee working at one of the kiosks, became involved in a verbal dispute, the specifics of which are still unclear. Following the dispute, Lopez proceeded to the second level of the mall and entered the Disney Store where he stole a...
Well, what would you steal from a Disney store if you were in need of a makeshift weapon? You wouldn't steal a plush toy, obviously. I mean, how much damage could a 12-inch Allergy-Friendly Eeyore Plush inflict, even in the hands of a hardened MS-13 gang member? Something like a Tinker Bell Flower Pot would be good, but it's sort of unwieldy. Perhaps a Mickey Mouse Wind Chime? You could wield it like a set of nunchuks. Me, I'm kind of partial to the 2-Pc. Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas Bust Set.
In the end what Lopez stole was the one item I would have least expected.
He stole a Pete's Dragon snow globe. The Commonwealth Attorney's office thoughtfully provided a photo of a "similar intact" example:
Here's how Lopez used it:
Lopez proceeded to the railing where he dropped the item onto the victim, striking him in the head and causing a laceration requiring stitches. Witnesses were able to identify Lopez, who was stopped in the parking lot shortly thereafter by Sheriff’s Deputies.
Lopez is a bad dude. His extensive record includes assault and battery by mob, simple assault, trespassing on school property, possession of marijuana, destruction of property and carrying a concealed weapon (presumably not a snow globe). “These guilty pleas will put us in a strong position to advocate for a lengthy sentence that should help keep this repeat criminal off the street for several years,” said Commonwealth’s Attorney Jim Plowman.
I guess the next stop for Lopez is prison, where he should have plenty of time to think about how to fashion weapons out of the most unlikely of objects.
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