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Top 14 reasons Obama might prefer private school

He said it himself-- President Obama thinks DC's public schools are not the best choice for his daughters right now. Is he right? Here are a few reasons he might be:

  1. You never get beaten up at private school, unless it's because your J. Crew shorts have too few whales on them.
  2. Fun extracurriculars such as "preparing to attend elite university" and "making contacts" are preferable to public school extracurriculars such as "betting on which underperforming teacher will be fired next" and "not having enough funding for an arts program."
  3. Once I went to summer camp at Sidwell. Okay, less "summer camp" than "summer geometry class, because chess camp involved too much strenuous physical activity." I never did this at public school. If the Obama daughters are trying to emulate me, they are doing a great job!
  4. Instead of joining the "I went to a Public School...B****" Facebook group, daughters can join the "I went to Private School, Harlot!" Facebook group
  5. You never know when your public school teacher might turn out to be a Craigslist prostitute.
  6. Who doesn't love attending a school where they spread pictures of the same four people over every brochure in a vain attempt to imply that the student body is diverse?
  7. They put the "prep" in SAT prep.
  8. Rooting for private school football teams is good preparation for being a Redskins fan.
  9. Makes it more difficult to relate to High School Musical and Grease but somehow easier to relate to Glee.
  10. Everyone is eager to get along, resulting in dances with themes like "Hawaiian Space Cowboys Go South, Then Underwater." These are fun, and trying to figure out your costume teaches you important lessons about compromise.
  11. If you ever find yourself in a seersucker forest, you will be invisible!
  12. Only nutritional problems are concerns such as, "Salad bar is dauntingly large."
  13. Names of private schools (Sidwell, Holton Arms) sound like entries in the classic, "So You Want Your Son To Be an English Lord."
  14. Michael Jackson's children are at a private school. The Twilight Saga was set at a public school.

By Alexandra Petri  | September 27, 2010; 4:45 PM ET
Categories:  Barack Obama, Petri  | Tags:  private school  
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Next: Far out: U.N.'s space invaders; Obama's hypnotized Jews; Jerry Brown's coy spirituality

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