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ComPost: October 31, 2010 - November 6, 2010

Keith Olbermann and journalists' dos and don'ts

Keith Olbermann just got suspended by MSNBC indefinitely after Politico learned that he had donated $2,400 apiece to three Democratic congressional candidates -- Jack Conway, Raul Grijalva, and Gabrielle Giffords. Journalists are not supposed to do this! Even I know...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 5, 2010; 3:58 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (12)
Categories:  Petri, Reality? Television  
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Nancy '@SpeakerPelosi' Pelosi is running for minority leader? Get a new Twitter handle!

"Driven by the urgency of creating jobs & protecting #hcr, #wsr, Social Security & Medicare, I am running for Dem Leader," @SpeakerPelosi tweeted. This is as good a time as any to point out that, win or lose, her twitter...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 5, 2010; 1:13 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Only on the Internet, Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  Nancy Pelosi, twitter  
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Mulligans: Fox takes the House; Pelosi doesn't take a hint; Oklahoma takes on fer'ners

Today's first mulligan goes to Fox News's Chris Wallace, who may be rethinking his decision to go on the Daily Show. "Congratulations to you, congratulations to your team and Fox. Great job, you guys did it. You worked hard and...

By Dana Milbank  | November 4, 2010; 11:12 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (22)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Congratulations, world's new oldest woman, Eunice Sanborn

Eunice Sanborn, 114 -- or 115, according to family -- is now the world's oldest woman. That's great! One part of the AFP story caught my eye: "She also asked what happened to the former record holder." Think about that...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 4, 2010; 7:13 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Petri  | Tags:  eunice sanborn; age  
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The Cooks Source, plagiarism, and the Great Gatsby

Cooks Source? More like Cooks Source Not Cited. Have you ever been excoriated by the entire Internet simultaneously? Do you want to be? Try taking someone's article without permission from a website, and, when the author writes to complain, claiming...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 4, 2010; 6:07 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (7)
Categories:  Only on the Internet, That's awkward  | Tags:  food, parody, plagiarism  
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Vote for the week's wackiest moments

By Alexandra Petri  | November 4, 2010; 1:47 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Epic Failures, That's awkward, Top Lists  | Tags:  polls  
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Tweets inspired by @Ulfw's two-tweet account of Airbus A380 engine failure

Don't you hate it when your airplane engine suddenly explodes? Airbus, you are letting us down. Did you all hear the one about the A380 airbus? Its engine just pulled a Steven Slater and exploded during takeoff! Maybe the engine...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 4, 2010; 11:44 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (3)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Only on the Internet, Petri  | Tags:  airbus a380, airplanes, twitter  
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Mulligans: The Bushism is back; Pelosi is still perfect; Bristol dances the election sidestep

Today's first mulligan goes to a man who has needed many -- on and off the course. George W. Bush, on the eve of the release of his memoirs, planted a fresh new Bushism on his first interviewer, NBC's Matt...

By Dana Milbank  | November 3, 2010; 8:26 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Obama's post-election speech, the draft version

Hello, America. Wow. So that's how you're going to be, huh? Some election nights are more fun than others. When I say that, I mean, "You win on some election nights, and on other election nights, people take your feelings...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 3, 2010; 5:27 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Barack Obama, Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  Barack Obama, parody  
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Kanye West's Katrina outburst was 'worst moment' of Bush's presidency?

"I faced a lot of criticism as president. I didn't like hearing people claim that I lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction or cut taxes to benefit the rich. But the suggestion that I was racist because of the...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 3, 2010; 1:36 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Petri, That's awkward, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  George W. Bush, Kanye West  
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Congratulation card for Harry Reid

Senate Democrat and Majority Leader Harry Reid defeats Republican Sharron Angle in the Nevada senate race, after she told him to "man up!" during a debate. Coincidence? I think not....

By Alexandra Petri  | November 3, 2010; 12:55 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Only on the Internet, Petri, Senate  | Tags:  cards, elections  
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Boehner, Boxer, and Fiorina -- condolences and congratulations

Congrats, Barbara Boxer (D, Calif.), on your reelection to the Senate! Like the horse of the same name in Animal Farm, you worked hard for this title. Sorry, Carly Fiorina! In spite of your ad campaign, I guess your campaign...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 3, 2010; 12:14 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (4)
Tags:  cards, elections  
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Condolence/congrats cards -- N.Y. governor's race edition

Sorry, Jimmy McMillan! The Rent IS Too Damn High, but your vote totals were not. Sorry, Carl Paladino! Better get out and enjoy life before the parade (not the gay pride kind, the metaphorical kind) passes you by! But maybe...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 2, 2010; 10:54 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  cards, elections  
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Condolence cards -- Alan Grayson and Linda McMahon

Two more condolence cards! Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.), of "The Republican plan is don't get sick and/or die quickly" fame, has been defeated in Florida -- by Republican Daniel Webster. I didn't know Daniel Webster was still around! Maybe he...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 2, 2010; 10:03 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Barack Obama, Only on the Internet, Petri, Senate, That's awkward  | Tags:  cards, elections  
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Live! Congratulations and condolence cards for tonight's winners and losers

Update 1:13 AM: But wait, there's more! Lots more! Words aren't enough for tonight's election results? Say "I'm sorry for your loss" or "Well done!" with an image drawn in MS Paint with minimal skill! Congratulations! For Rand Paul (R),...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 2, 2010; 8:10 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Congress, Petri, Senate, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  cards, elections  
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Election 2010 drinking game

Need something to spice up your election-night viewing? Forget red states and blue states -- you'll be in an altered state! Sure, drinking may be worse for society than heroin or crack cocaine, but so are many of the results...

By Alexandra Petri and Stephen Stromberg  | November 2, 2010; 4:31 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Bad Advice, Petri  | Tags:  alcohol, gravitas  
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Why didn't you vote? Top 30 Election 2010 excuses

Don't want anything to distract you from Criminal Minds marathon on ION Television this evening. They don't come to your house? Misunderstood "Rock the Vote," accidentally stoned pollster to death, currently awaiting trial. Forgot how to spell Murkowski. Watching...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 2, 2010; 3:14 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Petri, Tea Party, Top Lists  | Tags:  excuses, voting  
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Quiz: Ballot measures, or bogus strings of words?

There are 160 ballot questions certified for inclusion on ballots this year. That's slightly below the annual average, but only slightly! My approach to the ballot measures last time was to throw a dart at them, but I kept accidentally...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 2, 2010; 11:50 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Petri, Quiz, That's awkward  | Tags:  ballot measures, quizzes  
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The last mulligans for Christine O'Donnell and Alvin Greene?

Sarah Palin gets today's first mulligan for a critical mistake: revealing herself to be a Seinfeld fan. In an e-mail to the Daily Caller, Palin complained about a Politico article relying on - horror! - anonymous sources: "I suppose I...

By Dana Milbank  | November 1, 2010; 9:10 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Twas the night before midterms

Twas the night before midterms and all through the House Not a creature was stirring -- no human-brained mouse The chads were all hung from the ballots with care In the hope that the recounters soon would be there The...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 1, 2010; 6:42 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  From bad to verse, Petri, Tea Party  | Tags:  Sarah Palin, Twas The Night Before, voting  
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Christine O'Donnell's 30-minute ad would have worked!

Viddy well, my droogies! I have viddied the new Christine O'Donnell 30-minute spot with my glazzies, and now I hear all proper! Seriously, I now understand why Christine O'Donnell wants to air this ad so much -- and why the...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 1, 2010; 4:50 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (17)
Categories:  Petri, Reality? Television, Senate  | Tags:  Christine O'Donnell, Clockwork Orange, witch  
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Alcohol is worse than heroin, crack cocaine? Of course!

Alcohol is more lethal than heroin or crack cocaine? Yes, according to a recent study. Should defaming alcohol like this be considered substance abuse? Well, no. Of course it's more dangerous! Lab rats on crack just sit there politely pressing...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 1, 2010; 11:45 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (9)
Categories:  Petri, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  alcohol, drugs  
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Mulligans: Aqua Buddha soaks Conway; Michael Steele forgets all about $15 million; tweeting Iran's twit

Today's first mulligan goes to Jack Conway, who took Aqua Buddha's name in vain -- and now is getting swamped. Before the infamous ad, the Democratic candidate in the Kentucky Senate race was viewed negatively by 36 percent of voters,...

By Dana Milbank  | October 31, 2010; 9:42 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Best signs spotted at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

I support Barack "Who's Sane" Obama I don't think we'd ever poop at a rally. Patriotism is using your inside voice. Masturbation cures hysteria Sane people for fear of bears Bring back Crystal Pepsi Down with this sort of...

By Alexandra Petri  | October 31, 2010; 4:03 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Petri, Top Lists  | Tags:  Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, rally  
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