Exclusive -- interview with Aqua Buddha
In the recent debate between Kentucky Senate candidates Rand Paul (R) and Jack Conway (D) and in a recent attack ad from Conway, the subject of "Aqua Buddha" came up. Aqua Buddha is an elusive deity that, according to a quote in an article in GQ, Rand Paul tried to induce someone to "worship" as a college prank.
Because I am very connected, I was able to contact Aqua Buddha. Here's the transcript.
AB: Back in college. But, then again, who wasn't affiliated with some crazy things in college? I used to worship a false god myself. The porcelain god! Can I get a high five?
AB: That was back when I was on the path of sensual gratification.
Have you had any role in Mr. Paul's campaign up to this point?
AB: Well, I appeared in this ad for his opponent. That's me! I'm the blue guy!
AB: Yeah! Aqua Buddha is in the HOUSE! And soon, Jack Conway will be in the House! Or the Senate! I forget.
It could be said that your ad "swift-boated" Mr. Paul, since you, as a friend, were retelling a water-based experience from a long time ago in a way that was harmful to him.
AB: Aqua Buddha is the new swift boat. He thought we were on the same team? Doesn't he know who I am? I'm such a blue-stater, I'm literally in a blue state all the time. The Aqua Buddha just made a joke there, because the Aqua Buddha is physically blue!
Do you have any other involvement in state politics?
AB: The only state I care about is the state of enlightenment from worldly cares! I am a permanent resident. I'm the Aqua Buddha!
So, you endorse Rand Paul's challenger?
AB: The only thing Aqua Buddha endorses is liberation from the wheel of suffering. Follow the Eight-Fold Aqua Path!
This is your first foray into political activity?
AB: Aqua Buddha doesn't want to address that at this time. Let's talk about water. I love water! I love water so much I voted for Maxine Waters twice before realizing my mistake!
AB: Want to know what my favorite band is? Here, I will tell you: Nirvana! Specifically, Aqua Nirvana.
Aqua Buddha, do you have any predictions for the election?
AB: To the Aqua Buddha, all time is one moment, the flickering of a candle.
AB: So... probably Rand Paul.
Any final words?
AB: Hide your wife, hide your kids, because the Aqua Buddha is TRANSCENDING EVERYBODY OUT HERE!
Thank you for that, Aqua Buddha.
| October 18, 2010; 4:00 PM ET
Categories: Petri, That's awkward | Tags: Aqua Buddha
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