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Glenn Beck: 'I haven't seen a half-monkey, half-person yet'

That sound you hear is everyone on Twitter rushing to make the same joke simultaneously.

"Look in the mirror!" "Look inside yourself!"

And Beck went on:

"If I get to the other side and God's like, 'You know what, yep, you were a monkey once,' I'll be shocked, but I'll be cool with it."

I think he's confusing evolution with reincarnation here. This would explain quite a few of his other opinions, or why I assume he often wakes up from nightmares screaming, "I don't want to be evolved as a flamingo!"

Also, what is this vision of Heaven? Does Beck's vision of heaven consist entirely of the figure of God sitting there explaining evolution to people? No wonder he cries constantly.

"They have to make you care. They have to force it down your throat. When anybody has to force it -- it's a problem," Beck added.

I would make some jokes here about-- well, any of this, but I have to go boil my memory now.

(For more on Beck, check out my colleague Dana Milbank's book: Tears of a Clown.)

By Alexandra Petri  | October 20, 2010; 5:02 PM ET
Categories:  Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  Glenn Beck, monkeys  
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Next: Glenn Beck goes Ape; McCain vs. McCain; Ritzy Harry Reid

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