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Judge orders stay on enforcing don't ask, don't tell

You know what this don't ask don't tell ruling means!

It's asking time!

This has got to be one of the most awkward windows of permissiveness ever created. Unlike marrying (it's easy to un-marry; look at 50 percent of Americans!) you can't really un-ask or un-tell something, just like you can't un-see or un-hear things, much as I wish you could after watching "Just Wright." But that shouldn't stop us from trying!

Here are some ways to ask, if you need help getting started:

"I noticed you were serving our nation in the military. Are you gay? Don't worry, you can tell me! This won't be a problem -- at least for a few weeks! Then it might be a problem."

"What do you mean, you still don't want to tell me? Assuming -- and I say assuming, because we really don't know what will happen -- this doesn't get overturned, you will be totally fine no matter what."

"Like I said, if this doesn't get overturned, whoever you are is fine with me and I won't have to report you. But if it does, then, uh, you know, maybe put those photos back in your sock where I can't see them."

"Feel like telling me you're gay? Keep in mind that this will probably get overturned."

"Well, if you were gay, that would be okay, because, hey, I'd like you anyway! At least for this period of sixty days while the DOJ decides whether to appeal."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that. For now. But in two months this might be awkward."

"Yeah, you're right, forget I said anything."

By Alexandra Petri  | October 12, 2010; 5:29 PM ET
Categories:  Congress, Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  Don't Ask  
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