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Relax, Christine O'Donnell! Nobody knows the First Amendment.

"Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?" -- Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell's question during a debate with Democratic challenger Chris Coons.

Christine O'Donnell doesn't know that the Constitution guarantees the separation of church and state.

Who does? Christine explicitly said she didn't bring her Constitution with her! That ought to be enough.

Why taunt her? Instead of pretending we know what the Constitution says and are indignant that she doesn't, let's fess up.

I studied history for years, so I know that our nation was founded by Sacagawea. Also, Columbus Day is a holiday where we celebrate that city that isn't Dayton, because it doesn't get enough love!

When it comes to the Constitution, I know that if someone ever approaches me and suggests that I'm a "loose constructionist," I'm supposed to throw my drink in his face and say "Maybe your mother was, but I'm not that kind of girl!" Sometimes, it makes sense!

And when it comes to knowing my amendments? On Law and Order, people always say "I'm pleading the fifth," so I bet the Fifth Amendment is the amendment where Mariska Hargitay looks steely and thinks about alcoholism.

There's some amendment that has to do with cruel and unusual punishment, probably saying something along the lines of "absolutely fine, as long as you feel somewhat convinced he's a terrorist." I bet that's the one they used to open Guantanamo!

I don't know what the Nineteenth Amendment is, but I have a bad feeling about it.

If I ever become a lawyer, I plan to tell my clients to "use the Fourth" a lot, then laugh mysteriously.

I went to a bar once called the Twenty First amendment, so I am fairly convinced that the Twenty First Amendment had something to do with bars. Or maybe that was the Eleventh Amendment. I don't remember that evening very well. Maybe Christine O'Donnell's been there.

And maybe it's not just me. A survey on the First Amendment conducted throughout high schools found that students don't know the rights the First Amendment guarantees -- and when it was explained to them, more than one in three felt it went too far.

So instead of jumping on Christine, maybe we should take a look at ourselves.

Like she says, "I'm you."

By Alexandra Petri  | October 19, 2010; 11:41 AM ET
Categories:  Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  Christine O'Donnell, Constitution  
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