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Top 25 topical Halloween costume ideas

So you've run out of costume ideas, but want to impress your friends with your grasp of today's hot issues? Have no fear! That's why I'm here.

The biggest tip I can give you is NOT to dress as a witch and say you're Christine O'Donnell. Everyone's already doing that, even Christine O'Donnell. Trust me, you don't want to be that guy.

Here are some costumes you can try instead.

  1. Before and After Pelicans. This is a fun costume for couples! Draw straws and decide which pelican will be cute and which will be covered in oil and saddened by the loss of its habitat.
  2. The Gulf of Mexico and BP. Wear normal clothes, but give yourself a black eye and make your other half wear a top hat and tails. Explain that you're the Gulf of Mexico and she's BP. For added effect, have a friend dress as oil-eating bacteria and show up later in the evening to insist that he's "taking care of everything."
  3. Waiting for Superman. Dress as Superman, but make a point of not going anywhere near the nation's public schools.
  4. Healthcare Reform. Wear a lot of weird things that don't really seem to cohere. Have someone in a white lab coat follow you around trying to explain you in a way that makes sense.
  5. Rich Iott. Dress as Hitler. Instead of "Trick or Treat," say, "Never Forget."
  6. Aqua Buddha. Cover yourself in blue paint! Later in the evening, try to convince women to worship you! If no one gets it, just say you're an extra from Avatar.
  7. Sarah Palin? So done. Sarah Impalin, a family-values vampire hunter? So not done!
  8. Karen Owen's Sex Powerpoint. Wear a sandwich board describing what hooking up with you would entail. Use graphs. Obscure your eyes so people have difficulty identifying you!
  9. Eliot Spitzer's New CNN Show. Don't go to the party. Just hide someone where no one can see you.
  10. The Constitution, as Christine O'Donnell Imagines It. Just dress as a giant, God-fearing bunny that wants to hug people.
  11. "Ground Zero Mosque." Crash a party! Insist that you have every right to be there. For added accuracy, actually crash a party that's several blocks away, and keep asking strange people to fund you.
  12. That Guy Who Wanted To Burn All Those Korans. Carry a Koran with you and insist that you're going to burn it unless that other guy dressed up as the Ground Zero Mosque leaves the party right now. Don't actually do it, though.
  13. Salmonella Egg.Dress up as a regular egg, but act increasingly weird and paranoid! Shout angrily about how the chicken was always putting itself first. Try to poison everyone at the party.
  14. Brett Favre's Sext Be grainy and slightly shorter than people were expecting. Keep bugging attractive women. Say you're going to quit and leave the party, but then come back a few minutes later. Do this, like, eight times.
  15. Someone Who Would Frighten Juan Williams At The Airport. Figure out what "muslim garb" is. Wear that.
  16. Anita Hill's Telephone. Dress up as a telephone. Keep ringing. Say "It's Ginni Thomas, and I need an apology!" Do this every Halloween for the next twenty years.
  17. Steven Slater. Flight attendant uniform. Check. Attitude. Check. Midway through the party, grab a lot of alcohol and leave. Great if you have multiple destinations.
  18. That Menacing Guy From The Immigration Reform Commercials. Take a lot of handouts, and try to steal everyone's jobs!
  19. Rent Is Too Damn High. Everyone's going as the Rent is Too Damn High guy or Antoine Dodson. If you're in a state where Prop 19 is on the ballot, just go as the rent! (Aqua Buddha is a great companion costume.)

Don't have time for costume making? Try these instead.

  1. Whore. Say you're dressed as "Meg Whitman, seen through the eyes of a Jerry Brown staffer."
  2. The Recession. Wear a regular zombie outfit. Tell everyone: "I died in June 2009, and yet, I'm still here, eating your livelihood!"
  3. Mark Zuckerberg. Don't dress up. Wear a hoodie. Act a little bit more like you have mild Asperger's than you usually do.
  4. It Gets Better video. Walk around telling people how glad you are that you made it through middle school and giving them hope. Unless you're a politician, in which case, walk around telling people that eventually, things might get better, and you urge them to "stay cool."
  5. Phil Davison. Don't wear a costume, just yell a lot.
  6. Carl Paladino at a Gay Pride Parade. Just stand there looking uncomfortable. If anyone asks what you are, shudder, and say, "Stop brainwashing me into thinking this is acceptable."

By Alexandra Petri  | October 25, 2010; 2:46 PM ET
Categories:  Petri, Top Lists  | Tags:  Halloween  
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