ComPost: November 14, 2010 - November 20, 2010

Top 12 Things to say to your TSA scanner

I am about to get on a plane! I'm excited, because it has been a while since I had this kind of action, and the last time was two years ago on a D.C. bus, when someone was attempting to...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 19, 2010; 4:30 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (7)
Categories:  Petri, That's awkward, Top Lists, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  TSA, Too soon?, airplanes  
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The Gettysburg Address -- by George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin

In honor of today's date, the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, here are the ways some topical modern figures might render the classic speech: George W. Bush A while ago, these father guys got together and, in the America,...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 19, 2010; 1:22 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (37)
Categories:  Barack Obama, Epic Failures, Petri  | Tags:  Abraham Lincoln, parody  
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Mulligans: At Tom DeLay trial, hammer nails himself

Twitter followers of retiring Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) received a most unusual lame-duck tweet on Thursday from SenChrisDodd. There, next to a photo of Dodd shaking President Obama's hand, was the message, "U love torturing me w this [expletive]." The...

By Dana Milbank  | November 18, 2010; 10:20 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (4)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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President Obama, don't pardon the Thanksgiving turkey! Save the holiday!

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the country is gearing up. Wander a CVS aisle, go into a coffee shop, stroll down the street, and you'll be overwhelmed by Christmas music. At the rate they play it, they should change the...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 18, 2010; 4:53 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Barack Obama, Petri  | Tags:  Barack Obama, Thanksgiving, turkey  
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Rank the week's wackiest moments! And chat Friday at 11:30

No UFOs or mystery missiles this week, but there was enough going on on Earth to keep everyone occupied! Help us rank this week's most bizarre episodes! Have other thoughts about the week's wackiest moments? Want to defend your choice...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 18, 2010; 12:15 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Quiz, Week's wackiest  | Tags:  week's wackiest  
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Mulligans: Meg Whitman pays the help, Glenn Beck Babels

Make that $140,005,500. Meg Whitman spent some $140 million on her unsuccessful campaign to be California's governor. Now she has to cough up another $5,500 as part of an agreement with Nicky Diaz Santillan, the illegal immigrant who worked for...

By Dana Milbank  | November 17, 2010; 11:13 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (6)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Willow Palin's apparent Facebook rant -- a PSA for Facebook Groups?

I know whom Tre Name Redacted should unfriend for National Unfriend Day: Bristol and Willow Palin. I'm having difficulty coming up with a response to Willow Palin's much-bruited, alleged Facebook comment outburst against a classmate, Tre Name Redacted, who posted...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 17, 2010; 3:35 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (11)
Categories:  Only on the Internet, Petri, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  Facebook, The Palins  
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Top 8 Leonid meteor shower conversation starters, 2010 edition

Are your friends watching the Leonid meteor shower? Does this prospect alarm and terrify you? Are you worried you might run out of conversation, after alluding repeatedly to Leonid the Magnificent, a contestant on the first season of America's Got...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 17, 2010; 11:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (4)
Categories:  Bad Advice, Petri, Top Lists  | Tags:  science, space  
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Mulligans: McCain and Snooki, Obama and Sitting Bull

It had long been predicted that once he dispatched his conservative primary challenger, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) would revert to his maverick ways. Now we have proof. "Happy birthday @SnOOki," the 74-year-old lawmaker Tweeted to the "Jersey Shore" star on...

By Dana Milbank  | November 16, 2010; 9:07 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (4)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Prince William-Kate Middleton engagement, the Palins, and American royalty

Sure, I'm happy about the Royal Engagement. Congrats, Kate! You look radiant in that sensible jacket! I'm overjoyed for you, Britain -- really, I am. It's like when you hear that your overachieving friend's lawyer-doctor-Supreme-Court-justice son has gotten engaged to...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 16, 2010; 2:04 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (58)
Categories:  Petri, Reality? Television, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  America, Sarah Palin, royalty  
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The Long and Winding Road to Beatles catalogue on iTunes

Q: Beatles on iTunes? Nowhere, man. Tell me why? No reply. Nothin' Shakin'. For no one. Got to get you into my life. Please please me. We can work it out. Long, long, long. Crying, waiting, hoping. Too much monkey...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 16, 2010; 10:33 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Tags:  Beatles, itunes  
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TSA and John Tyner -- usually, this sort of thing is preceded by dinner

"If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested!" So said 31 year-old software engineer John Tyner to the TSA official attempting to pat him down at San Diego's airport. Tyner was flying out of San Diego airport to go...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 15, 2010; 4:22 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (20)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  John Tyner, TSA, airplanes  
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Facebook e-mail? What your e-mail address says about you.

Facebook, as I type, is in the process of unveiling some sort of beyond-e-mail e-mail service. Forget everyone's concerns about safety breaches (Koobface, anyone?) or about spending even more time on this famously time-sucking site. E-mail has always served two...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 15, 2010; 1:16 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (33)
Categories:  Only on the Internet, Petri  | Tags:  Facebook  
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Top 10 moments of 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' premiere -- she's as outdoorsy as Roosevelt (Franklin)

If real life were like this, to paraphrase a member of the Palin clan, I would be outside 24/7 eating popcorn on a chair. But instead, I'm inside watching "Sarah Palin's Alaska" on TLC. In escalating order, here are the...

By Alexandra Petri  | November 15, 2010; 9:15 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (30)
Categories:  Petri, Reality? Television, Tea Party, Top Lists  | Tags:  Alaska, Sarah Palin, bears  
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Mulligans: Secretary of State Cantor charts new Mideast policy

Eric Cantor seems to be settling in well as secretary of state. Technically, his position is expected to be majority leader of the House next year, but he is already operating his own foreign policy. He held a meeting with...

By Dana Milbank  | November 14, 2010; 7:40 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (59)
Categories:  Mulligans  
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