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Election 2010 drinking game

Need something to spice up your election-night viewing? Forget red states and blue states -- you'll be in an altered state! Sure, drinking may be worse for society than heroin or crack cocaine, but so are many of the results on election night, and elections are still a cherished pillar of our democracy!

Here are my colleague Steve Stromberg's and my suggestions for when to drink to enhance your election night:

  • Whenever someone references the O'Donnell "I'm not a witch" ad.

  • Whenever someone alludes to the Demon Sheep ad

  • Whenever someone refers to the election as a "tsunami," "tidal wave," "groundswell" or using any water-based imagery unrelated to Aqua Buddha

  • Whenever someone mentions Aqua Buddha

  • Whenever there is an animated graphic involving stars

  • Whenever someone says the name Hickenlooper

  • Whenever someone describes the election as a "referendum" on:
    -Obama's leadership
    -Nancy Pelosi's leadership
    -The economy
    -Health-care reform
    -How high the rent is

  • Whenever someone refers to Nancy Pelosi in the past tense

  • Whenever someone asks a rhetorical question about the Tea Party

  • If you're watching CNN, whenever there is a hologram without sufficient cause

  • Whenever someone mentions mama grizzlies

  • Whenever someone makes a bad pun about Proposition 19. (High times for California voters? Yes we cannabis?)

  • Pick the numerical outcome, in terms of seats won and lost, for the new House and Senate. Whoever comes closest can oblige everyone else to drink!

  • Whenever the Alaskan vote requires a recount.

  • Whenever someone contests the results of something

  • Every time a reporter or anchor points out that John Boehner's election-night party is "not a party"

By Alexandra Petri and Stephen Stromberg  | November 2, 2010; 4:31 PM ET
Categories:  Bad Advice, Petri  | Tags:  alcohol, gravitas  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Why didn't you vote? Top 30 Election 2010 excuses
Next: Live! Congratulations and condolence cards for tonight's winners and losers

Comments

Dang, Petri, lay off the crystal M. You're spitting out these election columns faster than I can read them. Save something for the 2012 presidential campaign that starts tomorrow, OK?

Posted by: divtune | November 2, 2010 6:15 PM | Report abuse

My God Alex, I just saw the pictures. How could you have a drunken one-column stand with that killer ladybug, Stephen Stromberg?

One picture shows him groping you with all six of his hands. Yuck! Try waxing the next time your aphids bother you.

Posted by: divtune | November 2, 2010 6:40 PM | Report abuse

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