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Posted at 11:03 AM ET, 11/22/2010

Holiday songs revamped for how early they play in restaurants and on the television these days

By Alexandra Petri
  • I'll Be Home For Christmas, Which is More Than Two Months Away, But I Am Making Travel Plans In Advance
  • All I Want For Christmas Is You To Wait Three More Weeks Before Playing This Song
  • Jingle Bells
  • Jolly Old St. Nicholas Is At The Mall, But It Isn't Thanksgiving Yet, And He's Creeping Me Out
  • 112 Days of Christmas
  • Silent Night, Except At The Starbucks That Is Playing This Already
  • Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer Is Red-Nosed Because He Has Started Drinking In Excess To Deal With The Fact That They Are Playing This Song Everywhere
  • Have Yourself a Merry Little Random Day In November
  • Late Fall Wonderland
  • Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. You Know, Eventually
  • Rockin' Around Last Year's Christmas Tree, Which Is Still Up
  • It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas In Spite Of The Fact That It Is NOVEMBER, PEOPLE, NOVEMBER
  • Do They Know It's (Not) Christmas (Yet)?
  • It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Specifically, Those Four Weeks Before Thanksgiving
  • Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow Before You Start Playing This!

Bah humbug.

By Alexandra Petri  | November 22, 2010; 11:03 AM ET
Categories:  Petri, Top Lists, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  slow news day  
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Comments

Thank you!!!

Posted by: TheMike1 | November 22, 2010 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Why is this non-humerous drivel given prominance on the editorial board? It's not even worthy of a sidebar in Style.

Posted by: talitha1 | November 22, 2010 1:54 PM | Report abuse

The letter of "Do they know its Christmas" relegates it to a particular season, but the spirit of "Do they know its Christmas" should continue year round.

Posted by: GFisher1 | November 22, 2010 2:16 PM | Report abuse

talitha1 snarled:
"Why is this non-humerous drivel given prominance on the editorial board? It's not even worthy of a sidebar in Style."
November 22, 2010 1:54 PM
===
I hate to break it to you, but Santa made his list and checked it twice early this holiday season. There's already a lump of coal in YOUR stocking.

Nanny nanny boo boo. I LOL'd at every one of these modified song names, and my stocking is already with yummy ComPost.

Posted by: divtune | November 22, 2010 3:23 PM | Report abuse

This lame humor makes me yearn for Carlos Mencia.

Posted by: charlesbakerharris | November 22, 2010 3:31 PM | Report abuse

hey talitha1, this SHOULD be front page stuff. they keep pushing this Christmas music earlier and earlier every year. it stinks and worse, ITS WRONG. its just plain wrong. they end up ruining the holidays for everyone becasue they have be the first moron to play a Christmas carol when its 65 degrees out. there ought to be a law. only after Thanksgigiving and only intermittently.

Posted by: submarinerssn774 | November 22, 2010 3:33 PM | Report abuse

Chestnuts Roasting on a Guy Fawkes Day Fire
(that’s Nov. 2nd for you American colonists)

Deck The Halls With Jack-O-Lanterns

O’ Columbus Day Tree

I Heard The Bells On Veteran’s Day

Up On The Housetop Is The Only Place You Can Get Away From All This Darn Christmas Music

Posted by: divtune | November 22, 2010 3:44 PM | Report abuse

Chestnuts Roasting on a Guy Fawkes Day Fire
(that’s Nov. 2nd for you American colonists)

Deck The Halls With Jack-O-Lanterns

O’ Columbus Day Tree

I Heard The Bells On Veteran’s Day

Up On The Housetop Is The Only Place You Can Get Away From All This Darn Christmas Music
===

Posted by: divtune | November 22, 2010 3:49 PM | Report abuse

Yikes! Santa's double posting elf has gotten to me again.

Suggestion for Anup: How about disabling the "Post" button after it's clicked.

Suggestion for other commenters: Don't end up like me. Only click "Post" once even if you don't get any response the first time.

Suggestion for charlesbakerharris:
http://www.carlosmencia.com/

Posted by: divtune | November 22, 2010 3:56 PM | Report abuse

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