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Posted at 8:19 PM ET, 11/21/2010

Mulligans: TSA puts out 'feelers,' Jimmy Carter reveals killer rabbit details

By Dana Milbank

Florida Republican Allen West is fast becoming our favorite congressman-elect. First he tried to hire as his chief of staff a radio personality who had talked about hanging illegal immigrants. Now he's on Meet the Press offering his critique of aggressive pat downs at airports: "We should have put out some type of feelers and talked to the American people about this before we implemented this type of plan."

***

At long last, Jimmy Carter has broken his silence about the great mystery of his presidency: the killer rabbit attack.

"I was fishing one afternoon," Carter Told our friend Howard Kurtz on CNN's Reliable Sources. "And a rabbit was being chased by hounds.... He jumped in the water and swam toward my boat. When he got almost there, I splashed some water with a paddle."

Carter blamed his press secretary, Jody Powell, for telling reporters about the incident "in a bar after a lot of drinking." Powell is no longer alive to refute the claim, although he once wrote that he revealed the rabbit incident to a reporter over a cup of tea.

***

On Saturday Night Live, Nancy Pelosi was described as "a woman who always looks like she's watching someone not use a coaster." And a Rachel Maddow character was greeted by a Charlie Rangel character with "Hello, young man."

***

Presidential wife and mother Barbara Bush, speaking the truth that so many Republicans dare not utter, said of Sarah Palin: "I sat next to her once. Thought she was beautiful. And she's very happy in Alaska, and I hope she'll stay there."

Bush will be disappointed, therefore, to read a report in the Guardian that Palin, who visits Iowa next week, has been looking for office space in the first caucus state.

By Dana Milbank  | November 21, 2010; 8:19 PM ET
Categories:  Mulligans  
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Comments

You gotta love it! We may not have Christine O’Donnell to kick around any more, but along comes Allen West to “put out some feelers” for her. Hang in there Allen, we need you!

Since TSA already put out the feelers, Mr. West’s idea is moot. But today’s lead story is about something that might actually solve the problem. Apparently, scientists have a way to distort the scanner images so they show us naked, but like “in a funhouse mirror.”

The last time I tried to see myself naked in a funhouse mirror I got kicked out of the funhouse. But what I did see convinced me that this idea won’t work.

Funhouse mirrors make you look really big, or really small. Mr. Happy was happy with the really big mirror, but the other ones were no fun. When those TSA agents start giggling at my distorted naked image, is it the big mirror or the little one? And I’m sure women would have similar problems with all of their Ms. Happies.
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Is Jimmy Carter the greatest ex-president or what? Just when we almost forgot about him again, he pulls another rabbit out of his hat to remind us who’s still the bestest ever.
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After insulting the entire lesbian community by calling Rachel Maddow “young man”, SNL’s Charlie Rangle character then whispered, "I don't know how much longer I have to live."

Also, I think Ms. Pelosi is right. We could solve all our problems if Republicans would just “use a coaster!”
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So I guess we won’t be seeing any bumper stickers like this:
“Sarah Palin / Barbara Bush 2012!”

Posted by: divtune | November 22, 2010 3:05 PM | Report abuse

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