Twas the night before midterms
Twas the night before midterms and all through the House
Not a creature was stirring -- no human-brained mouse
The chads were all hung from the ballots with care
In the hope that the recounters soon would be there
That before that guy running for Gov against Cuomo
(That's Carl Paladino) could cry out "No Homo!"
And before you could say "NPR's sacked you, Juan"
The whole gang rushed out to ask what had gone on.
Were they Tea Party types? Had they come from Wisconsin?
And did they support Mr. Feingold -- or Johnson?
We didn't quite know, and it made us feel queasy
Would there be an upset like Gray's win in D.C.?
Eighty new pairs of feet pacing Capitol floors?
Would they be what Brown aides would refer to as -- bores?
Who was surging out there? Were they bringing back honor?
Was it a new party more fun than the Donner?
Was the Tea Party there? Or was it Fiorina?
Or was it some new girl Dowd thought even meaner?
Could it be O'Donnell? Or was it Chris Coons?
It seemed 'twas a crowd, bearing letters and runes
Would it be Frank with us? Was it, in fact, Barney?
Did it have some message? Or was it just blarney?
It wasn't quite clear, no one quite seemed aware
At the head of the crowd was a comedy pair
And they said that they'd come to D.C. to restore
Sanity -- in response, the whole crowd gave a roar.
No! That was a flashback from Halloween eve!
So what was this new crowd? When would these people leave?
Was it all going wrong? Had the process just broken
What were these strange words that the people had spoken?
We looked and we realized with horror and awe
That this was America voting we saw
They had made their decisions and each picked a horse
And the next day would show us the Congress's course.
But not just the folks who had registered yet
This was everyone voting, to leave no regret!
There was turnout galore! And no voice went unheard
Then we woke up. It all was a dream -- and absurd.
We went back to bed. Were we feeling so lucky?
We prayed to the Buddha who lives in Kentucky
Sure, the voters would come, and the voters would go
And we still would be glad that we weren't Mexico.*
We returned to our newses (CNN and FOXes)
We readied our votes for the right ballot boxes
And absentee ballots, the kind that you mail in
We sent (in agreement, or not, with Gov. Palin.)
Yet we sighed, for a moment, with sighing progressive
If only important things were more impressive!
'Tis Democracy's dream that reality mars!
More were voting for Bristol to Dance with the Stars.
*Apologies to Mexico, which I hear is a nice place, except for the recent spate of drug-related killings.
| November 1, 2010; 6:42 PM ET
Categories: From bad to verse, Petri, Tea Party | Tags: Sarah Palin, Twas The Night Before, voting
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