Why didn't you vote? Top 30 Election 2010 excuses
- Don't want anything to distract you from Criminal Minds marathon on ION Television this evening.
- They don't come to your house?
- Misunderstood "Rock the Vote," accidentally stoned pollster to death, currently awaiting trial.
- Forgot how to spell Murkowski.
- Watching LOST for first time, too riveted to leave house.
- After toddler invited you to a Tea Party with her teddy bears and proceeded to have her teddy bears lecture you about evils of big government, lost will to live (or vote).
- Think you might be under house arrest, don't want to risk it.
- Too riveted by 30-minute Christine O'Donnell spot to leave house
- After watching video by Campus Progress, assumed they had everything under control.
- After losing election for prom queen after six recounts and a supreme prom court decision, lost faith in political process.
- Live in Chicago, have urged deceased great uncle to vote on your behalf
- Won't vote until they let Justin Bieber vote
- Won't vote until they pass a law making it illegal to be Justin Bieber
- Allergic to ballot measures
- Absentee ballots remind you of painful home life
- Object to voting booths. "An angry voting Booth killed Abraham Lincoln!"
- Unnerved by tiny pencils
- Staying home to hack secure vote servers instead
- Have been deceased for past 30 years
- Are a Chilean miner
- After committing a series of murder-suicides in the 1970s, have been in hiding in a small cabin in Albuquerque since 1983, can't emerge for fear of detection
- If you can't do something on your iPhone, is it really worth doing?
- Concerned that your poor spelling would do more harm than good to your write-in candidate of choice
- Someone told you to live like you were dying, and it is impossible to vote while sky-diving
- Too busy whipping hair back and forth
- Terrified by attack ads that suggest both candidates will come to your home, take away your children's future, and euthanize your dog. Are sitting in government-proof bunker with kids, dog, as you read this.
- Have sworn off voting since Justin Guarini lost American Idol
- Voting on the day you learned Demi Lovato was in rehab would be like voting on Pearl Harbor, but worse.
- Haven't seen "Election" yet, don't want to ruin plot
- Couldn't find polling place, accidentally registered as a sex offender instead.
By
Alexandra Petri
| November 2, 2010; 3:14 PM ET
Categories:
Petri, Tea Party, Top Lists
| Tags:
excuses, voting
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Sorry, I can't comment. I'm watching Criminal Minds.
Posted by: divtune | November 2, 2010 6:11 PM | Report abuse
Well, I tried to vote. But I knocked over the voting booth when I wiggled my hips and whipped my hair back. Then a mob of well-dressed European men coming out of Brooks Brothers jumped on me and started a riot, and they had to close the whole polling location down.
Posted by: divtune | November 3, 2010 10:50 AM | Report abuse
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