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Why didn't you vote? Top 30 Election 2010 excuses

  1. Don't want anything to distract you from Criminal Minds marathon on ION Television this evening.
  2. They don't come to your house?
  3. Misunderstood "Rock the Vote," accidentally stoned pollster to death, currently awaiting trial.
  4. Forgot how to spell Murkowski.
  5. Watching LOST for first time, too riveted to leave house.
  6. After toddler invited you to a Tea Party with her teddy bears and proceeded to have her teddy bears lecture you about evils of big government, lost will to live (or vote).
  7. Think you might be under house arrest, don't want to risk it.
  8. Too riveted by 30-minute Christine O'Donnell spot to leave house
  9. After watching video by Campus Progress, assumed they had everything under control.
  10. After losing election for prom queen after six recounts and a supreme prom court decision, lost faith in political process.
  11. Live in Chicago, have urged deceased great uncle to vote on your behalf
  12. Won't vote until they let Justin Bieber vote
  13. Won't vote until they pass a law making it illegal to be Justin Bieber
  14. Allergic to ballot measures
  15. Absentee ballots remind you of painful home life
  16. Object to voting booths. "An angry voting Booth killed Abraham Lincoln!"
  17. Unnerved by tiny pencils
  18. Staying home to hack secure vote servers instead
  19. Have been deceased for past 30 years
  20. Are a Chilean miner
  21. After committing a series of murder-suicides in the 1970s, have been in hiding in a small cabin in Albuquerque since 1983, can't emerge for fear of detection
  22. If you can't do something on your iPhone, is it really worth doing?
  23. Concerned that your poor spelling would do more harm than good to your write-in candidate of choice
  24. Someone told you to live like you were dying, and it is impossible to vote while sky-diving
  25. Too busy whipping hair back and forth
  26. Terrified by attack ads that suggest both candidates will come to your home, take away your children's future, and euthanize your dog. Are sitting in government-proof bunker with kids, dog, as you read this.
  27. Have sworn off voting since Justin Guarini lost American Idol
  28. Voting on the day you learned Demi Lovato was in rehab would be like voting on Pearl Harbor, but worse.
  29. Haven't seen "Election" yet, don't want to ruin plot
  30. Couldn't find polling place, accidentally registered as a sex offender instead.

By Alexandra Petri  | November 2, 2010; 3:14 PM ET
Categories:  Petri, Tea Party, Top Lists  | Tags:  excuses, voting  
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Next: Election 2010 drinking game

Comments

Sorry, I can't comment. I'm watching Criminal Minds.

Posted by: divtune | November 2, 2010 6:11 PM | Report abuse

Well, I tried to vote. But I knocked over the voting booth when I wiggled my hips and whipped my hair back. Then a mob of well-dressed European men coming out of Brooks Brothers jumped on me and started a riot, and they had to close the whole polling location down.

Posted by: divtune | November 3, 2010 10:50 AM | Report abuse

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