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Posted at 4:29 PM ET, 12/ 3/2010

Things more unpleasant than Rep. Rangel's censure by Congress

By Alexandra Petri


Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) recently suffered censure by the House. This censure consisted of standing in the well of the House while Speaker Nancy Pelosi reprimanded him for forty-five seconds. Most people in this position have turned to face Congress, but Rangel opted to stare at Pelosi while she was talking -- which some people might view as a form of punishment all its own. But that was it? So much hullabaloo surrounded this punishment that I was expecting something, well, a little sterner.

So cheer up, Charlie Rangel! There are lots of things worse than standing for forty-five seconds while Nancy Pelosi makes you feel guilty. Here are a few:

  1. Having an injury that makes it impossible for you to play piano, but you were only okay at piano to begin with.
  2. Shooting yourself in the foot, but missing.
  3. Watching the trailer for the Natalie Portman vehicle "Black Swan" but knowing you'll never actually make it to the movie.
  4. Attending a child's piano recital and realizing you have to say something nice about it afterwards.
  5. Standing in a checkout line in front of a guy who's having a really detailed personal conversation, and just when you've started to get emotionally involved, you run out of items to check out and have to leave.
  6. Having the vending machine reject all twenty of your dollar bills because they're damp and slightly bent.
  7. Sitting next to someone with perfect pitch during an Ashlee Simpson-Wentz concert
  8. Being a turkey who's pardoned but never gets to visit Disney World
  9. Standing in a light drizzle for three minutes.
  10. Having an itch you can scratch, but it's still unpleasantly itchy!
  11. Two people unfollow you on Twitter, and one of them is someone you sort of know.
  12. Miss incredible three-day Christmas sale at Kohls!!!
  13. Change channel to avoid commercials and wind up on more commercials.
  14. Someone gives you a fur coat you don't really want.
  15. Wanting to cheat on a test, but when you look at the paper of the guy next to you you notice that he's misspelled simple words like "boat" and "doubt."
  16. Listening to Nancy Pelosi reprimand you for a full minute.

By Alexandra Petri  | December 3, 2010; 4:29 PM ET
Categories:  Congress, Epic Failures, Petri, Top Lists  | Tags:  CSPAN, Nancy Pelosi, Rangel, turkey  
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Also, Charlie Rangel and I once used the men's room at DCA at the same time. No Larry Craig action, but he did peek at what I'm workin' with...and he was clearly jealous.

Posted by: purpledrank | December 3, 2010 7:00 PM | Report abuse

Nancy is no PELOSISSY. She’s got bigger balls than 3 of those purple drinking pansies put together! You think that censure thing was easy for Mr. Rangel?

Dana Milbank described it best: “Charlie Rangel stood, stony-faced, in the well of the House. His feet planted wide, his hands crossed over his fly, the 80-year-old lawmaker awaited the rebuke of his peers.”

So why do you think poor Charlie had “his hands crossed over his fly?” He was obviously protecting the jewels. The last guy Pelosi rebuked is now one of the Sopranos!

And after he was censured, Rangel made it clear how bad getting reamed out in the well by Pelosi really was: “Compared to where I’ve been,” Rangel said, “I haven’t had a bad day since.”

But the only thing worse than Rangel’s censure is what I went through when my comment was censored by the ComPost for calling Christine O’Donnell a witch... but with a “b”.

Posted by: divtune | December 3, 2010 9:01 PM | Report abuse

Christine O'Donnell is a...witcb?

Posted by: purpledrank | December 4, 2010 9:03 AM | Report abuse

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