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ComPost: January 16, 2011 - January 22, 2011

Walmart health food, Michelle Obama, and the dessert war

First, it was the Dessert War. Now it's the Wal-Mart War. Where is this battle against junk food going to stop? Wal-Mmart used to be my bastion. When I heard it was coming to my area, I was elated! According...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 21, 2011; 4:00 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (7)
Categories:  Petri, Seems Suspect, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  Michelle Obama, carrot sticks, celery, dessert, parody  
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Everything I need to know I didn't learn in college

There's a new Know-Nothing Party. It's called college. "Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses," a study recently released by sociologists Richard Arum of New York University and Josipa Roksa of the University of Virginia found that 45 percent of...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 21, 2011; 1:55 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Petri  | Tags:  college, kids these days, oops, test scores  
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Cell-phone-distracted lady falls into fountain -- this is the American dream!

Have you seen the video of the woman who fell into that fountain? It's riveting! And if there is one thing on which I am qualified to comment, it is People Who Walk Into Things. I frequently walk into things...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 20, 2011; 6:35 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (6)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Only on the Internet, Petri  | Tags:  YouTube, celebrity, oops, technology  
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'Premarital Sex in America' and the single girl

I'm not single. Single is what you are when you're thirty and you have to go to a wedding by yourself. Single is when you join OKCupid.com. Single is what you are when someone says, "Hey, we should go clubbing,"...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 20, 2011; 2:25 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  America, kids these days, sex  
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Kennedy inaugural address: Ask not what happened to oratory

"Use the word 'astronaut' in a sentence," the old joke runs. "Okay, Astronaut what your country can do for you..." The speech pattern is not the only thing that's changed since J. F. K. delivered his seminal inaugural address 50...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 20, 2011; 11:02 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Barack Obama, Big Deals, Petri  | Tags:  America, Barack Obama, justin bieber, oratory  
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What was so wrong about Alabama Gov. Bentley's remarks

Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley, in a speech at a church after being sworn in: There may be some people here today who do not have living within them the Holy Spirit," Bentley said. ''But if you have been adopted in...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 19, 2011; 3:38 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (12)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Petri, That's awkward  | Tags:  Robert Bentley, reality, religion  
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Watson vs. the world: Jeopardy!, Palin, and the rise of ignorance

Last week, a computer named Watson handily beat Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter in a practice round of Jeopardy!. Designed over many years by IBM, the computer is the size of ten refrigerators and uses a complex array of algorithms...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 19, 2011; 2:44 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Petri, Reality? Television  | Tags:  Sarah Palin, kids these days, reading  
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How to celebrate Edgar Allan Poe's birthday

Today is Edgar Allan Poe's 202nd birthday! And, like many of his characters, he's managed to remain alive long after his death. Here are some ways to celebrate this somewhat local literary legend: Go into the office of someone who...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 19, 2011; 12:00 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (2)
Categories:  Petri, Top Lists  | Tags:  birthday, edgar allan poe  
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Regis Philbin, Ricky Gervais, and the lost art of hosting

Regis Philbin announced today that he was retiring from Live with Regis and Kelly. (By John Paul Filo -- Cbs) There are so few good hosts left nowadays. I recently read a letter to Ask Amy inquiring if it was...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 18, 2011; 5:54 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (5)
Categories:  Epic Failures, Petri, Reality? Television  | Tags:  art, hosts, kids these days  
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O No: An Anonymous Obama Novel!

Anon., Idem, Ibid. and Trad Wrote much that is morally bad: Some ballads, some chanties, All poems on panties -- And limericks, too, one must add. --Anon The authors of some books are anonymous. Others we just wish were...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 18, 2011; 4:23 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)
Categories:  Barack Obama, Petri, Seems Suspect, Worst Things Ever  | Tags:  Barack Obama, anonymous, books  
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Trenta? Starbucks, are you going through a midlife crisis?

(Image via Trent Warren/AP) Starbucks, do we need to talk? After twenty apparently happy years together, I think it's only fair to take you aside and note that you are behaving erratically. Ever since you changed the logo, I've...

By Alexandra Petri  | January 18, 2011; 11:06 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (21)
Categories:  Big Deals, Epic Failures, Petri  | Tags:  America, coffee, religion  
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