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Posted at 6:59 PM ET, 01/ 7/2011

More myths about the Civil War

By Alexandra Petri

The Post this weekend includes a list of five myths why the South seceded. I helped make the accompanying quiz. It is rife with legitimate facts!

Here are a few more myths about the Civil War:

  • Stonewall Jackson got the nickname because of a gay bar he frequented.
  • Pickett's charge was only disastrous because it was being made from a location the card company didn't recognize, so they refused to allow it to go through.
  • Friendly fire that killed Stonewall Jackson was the result of an Edward-Scissorhands-style misunderstanding with some anthropomorphic bullets who just wanted to say hello.
  • Jeff Davis was that guy who used to be on Whose Line is it Anyway?
  • The Civil War is popularly referred to as the War of Southern Passive Aggression.
  • When specifying date and time in the South, you have to say, "Three o'clock, January 11, After the War," because that's how time is still measured.
  • The fact that before the war, people said "The United States are" and after the war, people said, "The United States is" actually indicates decline in grammar, not an increase in unity.
  • Some union troops at reenactments are just AFL-CIO members who got confused.
  • Gen. McClellan was called "Little Napoleon" because of his habit of posing with one hand in his jacket and suggesting Union troops "quit marching around here and go invade Russia."
  • General Hooker preferred to be addressed as General Sex Professional.
  • Gettysburg battle actually shorter than Gettysburg movie.
  • Many Confederate troops were happy slaves who were really, really excited to be fighting on behalf of Virginia.

By Alexandra Petri  | January 7, 2011; 6:59 PM ET
Categories:  Petri, Top Lists  | Tags:  America, Civil War, mythbusters, the power of myth  
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Everyone knows that forescore and sesquicentennial years ago, the South seceded to prevent the election of Barack Obama. Today it seems like every politician with a southern accent is committed to the same goal.

It's ironic that when people are afraid of something, they tend to angrily attack it and provoke a response that makes their fears come true.

Posted by: divtune | January 9, 2011 11:56 PM | Report abuse

The Union will downsize again! or something like that.

Posted by: gannon_dick | January 10, 2011 12:18 AM | Report abuse

Those are funny as a Confederate Decendant I find much so called History is nothing less than; The Winner wrote the History Propaganda.

Buts Facts are Facts and there were about 100,000 more Free Blacks in the South than in the North, some were Rich and owned plantations; Many of them owned Slaves.

Free or Slave they couldn't vote and were only allowed to be 3/5 a person by Yankees because they were Black.

Posted by: ddoiron1 | January 10, 2011 10:54 AM | Report abuse

"and were only allowed to be 3/5 a person by Yankees"

How you figure?

"The Civil War is popularly referred to as the War of Southern Passive Aggression. "

This is my new favorite "fact".

Posted by: Greent | January 10, 2011 11:17 AM | Report abuse

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