NASA announcement: They found the set of Star Wars!
A galaxy that's far, far away and long, long ago? I think we've found the set of Star Wars!
It might also be a smudge in the data! But they're 80 percent sure it's a very old galaxy.
It's 13 billion years old? It doesn't look a day over 12 billion! It's been around since 500 million years after the Big Bang -- which, in layman's terms, makes it exactly Jay Leno's audience demographic. I bet it has very strong, yet mixed feelings about "The Big Bang Theory."
I picture this galaxy as very awkwardly racist towards other galaxies because it doesn't realize we don't say these things any more. Red shift probably accurately describes what has happened to its political beliefs over time, as it aged. I bet it accidentally voted for the Emperor twice because it had difficulty with its ballot.
And we thought the Earth was old! Well, some of us did. The rest of us were busy hiding dinosaur skeletons.
"Back in my day, we only had two dimensions!" it yells. "Time and overtime!" "That's stupid," we say. "That used to get big laughs on the vaudeville circuit!" it responds. It's difficult to argue with it because at this point it turns off its hearing aid. "Sound does not travel through space!" it hollers, whenever we try to remonstrate with it.
I bet it still thinks it can drive.
The only thing more exciting than the fact that NASA found this really old galaxy is that they couldn't find enough beef in Taco Bell "taco meat filling" to qualify it as "seasoned meat." Maybe Hubble should look for that next.
| January 26, 2011; 5:48 PM ET
Categories: Big Deals, Petri | Tags: NASA, Star Wars, aliens, space
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