Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
Posted at 5:03 PM ET, 01/25/2011

The State of the Union Drinking Game

By Alexandra Petri and Stephen Stromberg

firststateoftheunionaddress.jpg

"He shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the state of the union," reads the Constitution. And we shall, from time to time, play a drinking game while the speech occurs.

Every year since the presidency of Woodrow Wilson, the nation has gathered for the president to politely update us on our progress. The country has many problems. Alcohol is only one of many possible solutions to these problems, but the more you drink, the more bending the curve seems not only logical but necessary!

So, don't worry, we're here to help, with a guide for this year's festivities!

Take a drink:


  • Every time a member of Congress stands up to clap while the lawmaker in the next seat awkwardly remains seated.

  • Every time Joe Biden says something under his breath to Speaker John Boehner, who will be seated next to him on the dais. Take bonus sips if you spot Biden remarking on how "clean" and "articulate" the president is, or noting that Barack Obama is a much better speaker than "that stuttering king guy."

  • Every time President Obama uses a euphemism for "more spending."

  • For every Supreme Court justice you don't see.

  • Every time Obama mentions "small businesses."

  • Every time something Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Minn.) says seems not only right but logical! This is also a sign you should stop drinking.

  • Every time Nancy Pelosi stares at the speaker's gavel and mutters, "my precious."

  • Every time the sea life behind the president gets restless.

  • Every time the camera turns to Rep. Joe "You Lie!" Wilson (R-S.C.) because it looks as though the tea kettle is about to whistle.

  • Take bets beforehand on which cabinet secretary will be watching from the bunker tonight. If it's you, why are you drinking?

  • Every time you're worried Boehner is going to cry -- and then again when he does. (Basically just keep drinking.)

By Alexandra Petri and Stephen Stromberg  | January 25, 2011; 5:03 PM ET
Categories:  Bad Advice, Barack Obama, Congress  | Tags:  alcohol, state of the union  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: State of the Union: Competitiveness, the Super Bowl, and Amy Chua
Next: Top five State of the Union moments

No comments have been posted to this entry.

Post a Comment

We encourage users to analyze, comment on and even challenge washingtonpost.com's articles, blogs, reviews and multimedia features.

User reviews and comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions.




characters remaining

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2011 The Washington Post Company