Barack Obama, no one cares about your favorite Oscar song
Sure, a lot of dynamic things occurred at last night's Oscars. Kirk Douglas. Kirk Douglas? Kirk Douglas!
But the wackiest moment of the night might have to go to the Tribute to Best Original Songs. Everyone knows how much this category matters: It is the only thing keeping that one woman who looks like she just wandered out of The Oresteia off the streets.
But in case we wanted more reasons that this was important, there was a film segment featuring people on the street explaining their favorite songs in movie history. And among them was Barack Obama, noting that his favorite movie song was "As Time Goes By."
Mr. President, first you invaded my Super Bowl broadcast. I didn't mind. There might have been policy implications for the American industrial complex in the Packers vs. Steelers smashup.
But now it's my Oscars.
Seriously, President Obama, I know that these things are taped in advance. I know that they take maybe 15 minutes to tape, tops. It's not that I'm worried about your priorities. But it's the principle of the thing. Do you really have to weigh in on everything? And if so, why haven't you said more to Gaddafi? I feel like that should be higher on your list.
Look, we like you. Some of us even approve of you. There are some people who think that you were born in Kenya, and there is not very much you can do about them. Whenever you say something like, "My favorite song is from 'Casablanca!' " they will hiss, "Yes, just like you!"
But I have to say, there are some serious things going on in the world right now. For instance, Libya. People there are being killed, and flagrant human rights violations are occurring, Gaddafi is a crazed dictator who dresses up like an angry couch and makes bizarre pronouncements about how al-Qaeda is giving drugs to the youth of his country, and you're sitting here telling us that, of course, your favorite movie tune is the classic "As Time Goes By." Yes, I know this was taped in advance! But meanwhile, what are you doing about those Big Things? Do you really think Gaddafi is sitting in his bunker watching rapt,//// as he gets booted unceremoniously from the Human Rights Council. "No!" he is crying. "Not the Human Rights Council! That's the only thing I care about! I have to moderate my behavior now!" Sure, Secretary of State Clinton has called for him to step down. But what about you?
Say what you will about George W. Bush, he didn't mess with the Oscar broadcast. He was too busy mispronouncing polysyllabic words, invading countries and getting mixed up about weapons of Mass Destruction to be able to show up and admit that "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" was his favorite Oscar-winning tune. Please, go and do likewise, except for the first part.
Next, you're going to start throwing out the first pitch at NASCAR events*, which is the last thing anyone involved wants to happen.
*I assume you have a limited understanding of how NASCAR works.
Look, all I'm saying is, we get it. You're the Cool President. And Bill Clinton would have done the same thing! But just like I don't want Justin Bieber telling me about his stance on abortion, I could have gone another 80 years without hearing about your favorite Original Movie Song.
| February 28, 2011; 2:23 PM ET
Categories: Barack Obama, Petri, Reality? Television, That's awkward | Tags: Barack Obama, Oscars, argh
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