Mubarak stepping down! His top eight new jobs
After handing over control of Egypt to the Supreme Military Council, Hosni Mubarak is free to pursue all his other passions, passions like skydiving and "not being President of Egypt," something he wasn't able to do because of the responsibilities of his old job.
Here are eight others:
- Post shirtless photos to Craigslist under "fit fun classy." (Note: Is there a special hashtag for all the people making the joke about Mubarak and the Craigslist Congressman? After making it, I saw it possibly thirty more times.)
- Work on screenplay about experiences. Possible titles: "Coup Out," or "Basically Just The King's Speech, But Instead of Stuttering, You Have A Nervous Condition That Makes You Deliver A Speech In Which You Don't Resign."
- Go on a fun buddy road-trip adventure with Julian Assange. Who knows what zany hijinks will ensue? (Assange probably does, since his database includes the Future!)
- Protest whoever takes over, carrying a huge sign that reads, "Now you see how it feels!"
- Try to get a job on Hollywood Squares, explaining that "I, too, recently had a transformative experience involving a square."
- Hide under the chairs on Oprah's set and leap out, insisting, "Everyone here in the audience today gets a free me!"
- Watch "Just Go With It." Insist to anyone in the theater that, "Hey, my rule wasn't great, but this movie is terrible, right?" In the silence that ensues, loudly sip your coke.
- Stand outside screenings of "Never Say Never (3D)" saying, "Never" in an ominous voice.
Have any of your own?
| February 11, 2011; 3:05 PM ET
Categories: Epic Failures, Petri
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