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Posted at 4:49 PM ET, 03/ 2/2011

What would Dr. Seuss say today?

By Alexandra Petri

Happy Birthday Ted Geisel, today is your day!
In the face of the news, here's some things you might say!
Though your shoes are too big and my feet are quite small
A tribute's a tribute, no matter how tall!

Well the Westboro Baptists have won their appeal
They've a right to keep speaking with hideous zeal
And the single dissenter was Samuel Alito
But alas on the court just one vote's not a veto.

Let's see... Huckabee thought or now thinks that he thought up
That Kenya's the place where Obama was brought up
But now his flack says that it was Indonesia
And seems to be hoping that answer will please ya.

On the West Coast, the Warlock -- I mean, Charlie Sheen
Has been yelling and cursing at poor Chaim Levine
The sitch of his CBS sitcom seems gnarly
Since it seems all along the half-man there was Charlie.

And the cat in the hat -- that is Moammar Gaddafi
A man whom I like how I like my coffee
That is: Not in charge of a country, and done.
Was revolting for years, and now so's everyone.

And what else? Well, the unions are marching away
And they hope in Wisconsin they'll carry the day.
Finally iPad the Second has burst on the globes
For those with the patience of Job, or Steve Jobs

And before I lose steam with hexametrous verse
I must say -- things are bad, but they could be much worse.
And they're pleasanter far since the Doctor was here
Now go read high-brow stuff like "Freedom" or "King Lear."

By Alexandra Petri  | March 2, 2011; 4:49 PM ET
Categories:  From bad to verse, Petri  | Tags:  Dr. Seuss, reading, verse  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: John Galliano, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen -- poison and poetry
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What would Dr. Seuss say about the "high-brow" novel, Freedom, which "reaches its comic zenith when a young man searches through his own excrement with a fork?"

Do you like
excrement and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
I do not like
excrement and ham.

Would you like them
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like
excrement and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Posted by: divtune | March 3, 2011 6:02 PM | Report abuse

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