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Another Clinton Working Magic in D.C.

The story is old, and the bloggers have already pretty well picked through it (check out The Big Lead, Mister Irrelevant and The Mighty MJD), but if you haven't seen it yet, please read the tremendous Esquire story on Clinton Portis.

First of all, Chris Jones can write.

Second of all, there is all wonderful the stuff about the ladies and the aquarium headboard, which the other bloggers pretty much handled.

Third, though, there is this quote, which pretty much sums up any rational attitude toward sports:

I go from Miami to Denver, where people didn't understand me--didn't under¬stand my character, didn't understand my openness, didn't understand my flamboyance--and they just couldn't deal with me. I don't know why those people so unhappy out there. I guess they have to stress to you, they have to talk to you until you believe that they the biggest Raiders fan or biggest Chiefs fan in the whole world. And I'm like, [Bleep], dude, I'm glad. I used to be a Saints fan. You gotta like somebody. But this ain't no [bleep] I'm willing to die for. This is my job. If you told me Redskins Park was about to get blew up, you think I'm gonna run in there? Hell, no.

Finally, there is this sensible explanation for why Portis always likes to "keep a bunch of females around." It's the same reason, incidentally, that bloggers often "keep a whole bunch of females around:"

...because women can bring the haters down. There can be one dude in the club with trouble in his mind, a Dallas fan with enough alcohol in his system to start something crazy, but he sees all them women, he forgets the beef he got with me.

Anyhow, read the links.

By Dan Steinberg  |  September 5, 2006; 8:22 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: More On Phil Collins
Next: What You Need to Know


Dan that is a lovely hat in your picture. Clearly, you have been studying Portis far more closely than the rest of us.

My favorite part of the article is the part where Portis orders the "yellow" champagne. As a noted champagne snob (and quite possibly a bigger nightlife snob than Portis), I have to wonder which one he meant.

The obvious choice would be Cristal, but I have trouble believing a man of Portis's eccentricity would fall for something so pedestrian (yet delightful). Perhaps he meant Dom Perignon, my personal favorite, and adorned with a jaundiced green/yellow label. Maybe the Veuve Clicquot Grand Dame, adorned with a slightly more yellow label. Nah, the Grand Dame, though exceptional, screams stuffy white dude, with whom Portis would never be confused. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Portis is fond of Salon Le Mesnil, a rare find in the States.

You see, we've already classed up your blog. Jason talks about malt liquor, you get posts about champagne.

Posted by: P Diddy | September 6, 2006 1:55 AM | Report abuse

Hey Diddy - while your taste in Champagne is clearly very tasteful indeed, I would think it's pretty likely that Mr. Portis was ordering the regular Veuve Clicquot NV Brut 'yellow label', available at many retailers around the world for about $30 a bottle (but probably costing more like $60-100 via fancy-nightclub table service).

I mean, the Salon Les Mesnil or Veuve Grande Dame would be very classy indeed. But for everyday weeknight quaffing, you almost have to admit the Veuve NV may be a more practical choice (even if you pull down a few mill a year). It's not like the nightclub environment is terribly conducive to the thoughtful enjoyment of really fine wine, you know?

Posted by: Josh | September 6, 2006 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Josh, my friend, you need to party with me. I think every night is a night to quaff the good stuff. As I always say, if you're going to be a drunk, you might as well be a high-class drunk.

Posted by: P Diddy | September 6, 2006 12:01 PM | Report abuse

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