NASCAR Notes

Yummy American artisanal cheese and yummy American craft beer tasting notes from the NASCAR tailgate will follow; we're currently soliciting suggestions for week two cheese and beer selections. In the meantime, some NASCAR notes from Richmond:

Best tailgating sign: "No Man Boobs!"

Food for a champion: The 4 p.m. spread inside the Kevin Harvick hauler: Fritos, almonds, bacon bits, bean dip.

Best entreaty from a fan to her friend after meeting the Barenaked Ladies: "Feel my chest, Kevin, feel my chest." (Sue Cooke, Richmond)

"Specialty Beers" offered by The Beer Pit: Corona, Heineken, Yuengling in the can.

Best slogan on a race t-shirt modeled after the Budweiser logo: "An American original, consisting of the Wildest Party allowed by law, a weekend full of Racing, cold beer and the hottest women in the land."

Best response from one of the scantily clad ladies handing out free cans of orange-flavored Full Throttle energy beverage, when I asked her whether it would make me excessively hyper: "Yeah."

Most emotional wedding: Just in case you left work early on Friday.

Best non-use of the word "Macaca:" George Allen. (Instead, he said, "Race fans, always stand strong for freedom.")

Most inspiring t-shirt: "8 reasons I hate 24." (Said reasons for hating Jeff Gordon including "he talks like a girl," he looks like a girl," "he hugs his pit crew a little too much," "his car looks like a gay pride parade float" and "he's a raging homosexual.") (All those were actually on the shirt except the last.)

Cheapest laugh line that nevertheless made me laugh: Barenaked lady Steven Page: "You know, when you get nervous they say imagine the audience in their underwear. But after walking around the tent area I'm not sure I want to do that."

Item I most regret not purchasing: Green beads adorned with two 16 oz. cans of "Whoop Ass" and a helpful bottle opener that read, "Don't Make Me Open It!"