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Portis Trivia

It's after 6 on a Friday. Go home. Stop looking at your computer. However, since the Washington Post needs a blog entry about something other than cheese to excerpt in tomorrow's paper, we present Clinton Portis Trivia. The moral of this trivia being, Portis's shoulder is not the only thing that's been a tad questionable over the years. The first person to e-mail me the correct answers to each of these questions will receive.....I don't know. Something. Leftover cheese, maybe. (Note to editors: Don't excerpt that last line; it's about cheese.)

1. Clinton Portis's status for Sunday's game is once again up in the air, but Clinton Portis says he'll be ready because he's been eating what twice a day?

a) Red Bull concentrate
b) Tea leaves
c) Gunpowder

2. After throwing a touchdown pass last season, Clinton Portis said he could throw a football how far?

a) "Out there to Eastern Motors"
b) "Up there around Mars or so"
c) "All the way back to Miami"

3. Which terms have Redskins assistants used to describe Clinton Portis?

a) "A mean dude," "a raving maniac" and "a freak."
b) "A nasty Bama," "a deranged psychopath" and "a weirdo."
c) "A firing piston," "a strange cookie" and "a lunatic."

4. What did Randy Thomas used to say to Clinton Portis before running plays?

a) "Get right on my butt, man, get right on my butt."
b) "Just follow my thighs, man, just follow my thighs."
c) "Spoon with me here, man, spoon with me here."

5. What did Clinton Portis say after scoring five touchdowns for the Broncos?

a) "Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."
b) "I'm a baaaad man."
c) 'I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.'

6. What did Clinton Portis tell reporters who asked him whether he would leave Miami early?

a) "I think playing running back is pretty easy."
b) "How hard could the next level be?"
c) "If Butch Davis can coach in the NFL, I can play in the NFL."

Now watch this for the 40th time and smile yet again.

By Dan Steinberg  |  September 15, 2006; 5:09 PM ET
Categories:  Athletes Are Silly  
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