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Old basketballs, New Basketballs and Pumpkins

This day is complicated by a lecture that I need to give to some journalism students. Really. Go figure. But much of the rest of the day will be taken up with my long explanations of a series of extremely scientific experiments we at The Post conducted with the NBA's old basketball, new basketball and a pumpkin, assisted by D.C. Council Chair Vincent Gray, George Mason Coach Jim Larranaga, the members of D.C. United and some random people we met at a bowling alley, plus a former Bullets cheerleader.

As a teaser, the experiments ended, naturally, with me getting United forward Alecko Eskandarian to chuck both basketballs and a pumpkin off the fourth level of RFK Stadium.

(And now I'm going to speak to some journalism students. Swell. "Here's some tips for getting soccer plays to throw gourds out of multi-purpose stadiums," I'll tell them.)

To get us started, here are the most recent comments by the Wizards about the new ball, plus some thoughts from two of the 2,734 random people who have stopped me over the past few days and asked to examine the basketballs I've been carrying around:

Antawn Jamison: I love the ball [with his smile indicating non-love]. You've just got to get used to it. It's different. With the old one, the more you use it, the better it gets. The new one, I think it's the opposite.

Caron Butler: It's real grippy, but like I said, the second it gets wet it's kind of hard to get a grip to it. Honestly, it feels the same. I mean, growing up, when you go to the park, people bring their own balls, you know? They bring Spaldings, they bring Fusions, they bring balls that've been ripped. Sometimes they bring balls with the little tittie popped out already, and they bounce and fly over here somewhere. So, I mean, you've got to play with it, you know? So I don't know what the big deal is. Let's play ball, you know what I'm saying?

Eddie Jordan: The players will get used to it. If you can dribble, pass and shoot with the other ball, you can do the same thing with this ball.

Former Bullets cheerleader Susan Colbert (1983-'85): I've been knocked in the head by enough balls; we say the softer the better. I like that one. [pointing at new ball]

Random person and Wiz fan Keary Willey: I'd rather have the old one. See the grooves [on the new ball]? It's like they're too deep. See, a lot of players have a lot of tricks, and it might come back and not do what they want it to do. The new grip is solid, but I like the old ball. Back when I was 18 or 19, I'd make someone run into a fence if I had that new grip [with his ridiculous dribbling skillz]. I just don't like the new grooves.

(And as long as we're quoting Willey, here's what he says about the Wiz: "They need a power man, a real power man. They've got a nice team, but they're never gonna get a ring without a power man, a clean-up man.")

By Dan Steinberg  |  October 27, 2006; 10:54 AM ET
Categories:  D.C. United , Weirdness , Wizards  
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Wow. Is that an honest to goodness quote from the former cheerleader?

Posted by: Kim | October 27, 2006 10:00 AM | Report abuse

Caron then asked the cheerleader if her little tittie ever popped out

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | October 27, 2006 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Oh, what a great bog entry... I just snarfed yogurt onto my keyboard!

Posted by: SteveWWJ | October 27, 2006 10:35 AM | Report abuse

"Don't say my car's topless - say the titties is out." - Nas

Posted by: Josh | October 27, 2006 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Did you see where Mark Cuban hired the University of Texas at Arlington Physics Department to do a comparison of the two balls?

Posted by: leafblower | October 27, 2006 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Greatest. Cheerleader. Quote. Ever.

Posted by: Eddie C | October 27, 2006 11:17 AM | Report abuse

I'm...speechless...that is indeed the Best. Cheerleader. Quote. Ever.

Posted by: Ed | October 27, 2006 12:11 PM | Report abuse

quote: Former Bullets cheerleader Susan Colbert (1983-'85): I've been knocked in the head by enough balls; we say the softer the better. I like that one. [pointing at new ball]

In the words of Kenney Bania-"It's Gold, Jerry, Gold!"


Posted by: SEKim | October 27, 2006 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Susan, if you ever see this, you have my sincere apologies. In the contest of our examination of basketballs the other day, that quote seemed simple and pure. I had no idea that this sort of people read this blog.

Posted by: SportsBog | October 27, 2006 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Sportsbog, are you being facetious?

Posted by: Ledell Eackles | October 27, 2006 1:32 PM | Report abuse

I remember paying a stripper in Dallas for a facetious once. And Dan, do you, uh, have Susan's contact information?

Posted by: Michael Irvin | October 27, 2006 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Can I have Susan Colbert's address?

Posted by: Sherman Ezekey | October 27, 2006 3:32 PM | Report abuse

And now the cheerleader quote is appearing on other websites.

Nice one Mr. "How Can I Get Women To Comment?"

Posted by: Regan | October 27, 2006 5:49 PM | Report abuse

A guess at some of the balls that rattled around the head of Susan Colbert in 1985: Gus Williams, Jeff Malone, and Jeff Ruland.

Rick Mahorn didn't seem like her type.

Posted by: The Big Lead | October 27, 2006 10:43 PM | Report abuse

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