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Please Call This Guy up to the Nats

I guess the day will come when every player in the Nats minor league organization doesn't have his own myspace page, but thankfully, that day isn't here yet. By far the myspace MVP is major pitching prospect Collin Balester, who by one measure is the team's second-rated prospect (well, top 20, anyhow) and actually could be in the bigs this year. Young Collin can be pictured here doing several swell dances, sticking out his tongue repeatedly and hanging out with friends who are flashing the Shocker.

He calls himself Ballllllly Sta®, and shows the impressive ability to hit about 28 golf balls in 10 seconds, pictured below. Well done, Ballllllly Sta®. You just caused Ben Crane's head to explode.

And even though I'm not sure the Nats really need a pitcher whose nickname includes seven consecutive L's, I certainly hope to see you up here soon.

Among Young Collin's myspace friends is Class AA left-hander Gerald Plexico, aka "Mister Plecks$," who graciously lists his interests:

I enjoy doing all types of things such as hunting for mullets, laying in hotel rooms and hacking the internet, watching falling [bleep], making movies with BalllllllyStar, blowing my nose, shagging bp, getting jiggy with it, boat shoes, throwing strikes, raising the roof, South Carolina football, roaming with Haney, fishing, playing golf and hitting the ball in the woods/sand/water/, running laps in your dome, pencil fighting, playing basketball on a desk with a nickel, making fun of the 80's, spotting car trucks, skipping rocks, tubing on the lake, eating pizza, watching it rain, chillin' in the bullpen, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and most of all chilling with my family and friends.. For all of the myspace chicks looking to see some $2 body builder with 12 pics of himself with his shirt off flexing for the camera, look somewhere else.. Im not some toolshed meathead who greases himself down, and then takes pics of himself in the mirror for myspace

And thank goodness for that. Let's leave all the toolshed meatheads taking pics of themselves in the mirror for the Orioles. Anyhow, if you bounce around among the various friends of Ballllllly Sta® and Mister Plecks$, which will probably make you feel sorta weird after a while and cause you to think about finding another profession, you will head through the page of former Nats prospect Daryl Thompson and eventually come to Friedel Pinkston, a newish Nat who played in the Gulf Coast rookie league last year, lists his interests as "Music, pitbulls, women, and fashion" and describes himself thus:

i'm a professional baseball player for the washington nationals plus i'm a hip hop artist on the side. i'm a hittmenn dj and if u r in the music industry u already know what it is. i've traveled a good bit around the world. i've seen alot of things and done alot of things and i'm still open for new experiences. i have many friends across the globe in which has given me the ability to speak two languages. i love to go out to clubs, parties, cookouts, and etc. but i do find time to chill i can be a very laxed person r i can be the entertainment depending on my peers i'm single with no kids but i would like some in the near future so holla at ya boi if u wanna get to kno me

Seriously, Stan, get all these guys up here in D.C., please.

By Dan Steinberg  |  November 22, 2006; 3:35 PM ET
Categories:  Nats  
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Comments

This is probably the finest piece of investigative journalism on this entire blog, if not this entire website.

Posted by: Mark | November 23, 2006 10:06 AM | Report abuse

collin is a good friend of mine and to see this article just made my life. thank you for that

Posted by: kARI | December 4, 2006 1:30 AM | Report abuse

niiice article i hope i dont get in trouble for this tho

Posted by: collin AKA Ballystar | December 4, 2006 2:04 AM | Report abuse

If you get in trouble for this, something is wrong in the world. I mean, your swing might need some work, what's wrong with a little golf?

Posted by: Dan Steinberg | December 4, 2006 9:22 AM | Report abuse

Maybe he doesn't want to get in trouble for the time-stamp of his post.

Posted by: henry | December 4, 2006 10:17 AM | Report abuse

yeah its really me and yeah good article all my buddys and family memebers love it haha good job

Posted by: collin aka ballystar | December 4, 2006 1:44 PM | Report abuse

And now you're listed as his "Who I'd like to meet!" Way to go, Dan!

I have to wonder about Friedel Pinkston, though, listing pitbulls before women in the interests section...

Posted by: DC Sports Chick | December 4, 2006 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Funny

Posted by: G | December 10, 2006 11:53 PM | Report abuse

HAH HAH HAH.. i am so embarresed for collin : )

Posted by: Kinsey Annelise Wood | December 19, 2006 2:42 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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