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Gus Frerotte is a Dirty Liar

These are the things we write about on The Day No One Reads the Internets.

So SI's Michael Silver inexplicably published a super long interview with Gus Frerotte this week, in which Frerotte says that he and Marc Bulger convinced a USA Today reporter that Rams' third-string QB and Harvard grad Ryan Fitzpatrick plays the trombone, has three cats and drives a VW Bug, even though none of these things are true. Gus tells Silver, who apparently is an old drinking buddy (Amaretto shots?), that his wife convinced him to call the USA Today reporter back and rescind the trombone thing, although Gus says the cats and VW Bug items got in the story. Ha ha, Gus. You crazy trickster. Never figured you'd be so off the wall.

Is Trent Green about to vomit in this photo? And what exactly is Gus doing? (John McDonnell - The Post)

But then I went to find the story in question, so I could cringe at the USA Today's mistake, and I found no indication that such a story has ever existed. Certainly not in Nexis. Maybe it was an online-only deal, but even when searching for that in Google, all I found was this Manhattan real estate agent who "loves to cook, play tennis and spend time with his partner and two cats," but I think that might be a different Ryan Fitzpatrick. So now I'm thinking, maybe is it possible that Gus went all meta on Silver and decided to prove to the world that he was a dirty liar by lying to SI about a lie?

Ok, the above paragraph is now embarassing. Thanks, Reader Glenn. Read the USA Today story here. Thanks for nothing, Nexis. And Gus, your evil lies were not as successful as you had hoped:

Actually, Fitzpatrick catches more grief from Bulger and Frerotte about driving a green VW Bug and having three cats than about his alma mater.

"Yeah -- he has three cats. I think they're named Socks, Muffy and Boots," Frerotte says.

Later, when confronted on the subject, Fitzpatrick set the story straight: "The green VW belongs to my wife, and I used it a couple of days. And no, we do not have any cats."

Anyhow, then I started wondering, did the real Ryan Fitzpatrick score a perfect 50 on his Wonderlic, as everyone reported, or a 38, as Yahoo Sports claimed, or both, and did he finish in just nine minutes, as claimed, or did he not finish at all, as he told the Harvard Crimson?

And then I got distracted by taking a practice Wonderlic. Like I said, these are the things you do on The Day No One Reads the Internets.

Anyhow, in regards to Congressman Shuler:

Silver: OK, last question: Congressman Heath Shuler. Your thoughts?

Frerotte: I say good for him. The first career path you choose isn't always the right one. I'm sure Heath loved football, but it didn't work out for him. Now, obviously, he's found something that is working out. We weren't good friends or anything, but I have to say, I never saw that one coming. In fact, last time I saw Heath, he was pouring honey mustard dipping sauce on raw eels that he pulled straight out of an aquarium owned by the evil step-brother of Kansas City Brigade owner Tyler Pronchnow.

I might have made one of those sentences up, which, after all, is allowed in Gus-world.

By Dan Steinberg  |  December 22, 2006; 12:31 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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