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Nats Pawn Off Their Junk on Fans

No offseason for Nats bloggers. Tadcranky did something I should have done; he stopped by the new Nats store at Connectictut and L, where the team is also opening some offices. Anyhow, this is what Tad found:

When you walk in, the first thing that you see is a display of "game-used" jerseys. Which is fine. Until you see that they're jerseys that were "game-used" by Nationals greats like Endy Chavez, Mike Stanton, Rich Short, Brendan Harris, Toma Ohka and Darrell Rasner. That's it. These cost $199 to $299. Darrell Rasner pitched like 7 innings for the Nats. And they didn't even let him keep his jersey? I'd feel sorry for him if he wasn't with the Yankees now....

The jerseys are just an appetizer, though, to the true treasures at the Nationals store -- game used bats. More specifically -- a bat used by that legendary National....Damian Jackson! He of the 23 hits and .198 average in his 67 game career with the Nationals. How'd they wrestle that away from the Hall of Fame? The crazy thing about it is that the bat looks like it's about 100 years old, it's got all kinds of pine tar and tape and ball marks and stuff. It looks like something used by someone that could actually hit.

Great work, Tad. Hopefully they'll restock before the holiday shopping season ends.

And then we have Capitol Punishment, which sort of ripped off the Wizznutzz's Gar-Bot, except with Stan Kasten, aka Esskay. Cappy, like me, was struck by the Esskay's amazing ability to hold lengthy Q&A's without actually saying anything. Writes Cappy:

...You really need to read Kasten's answers as if you were contracting for services with Beelzebub; every word matters. Thankfully I've got a friend in Atlanta (Let's call him Fred Burner), who's provided me with the StanSpeak Translator. With some copying and pasting, and the flicking of a button or two, it spits his deep, dark, hidden thoughts, so that us, the non-humble humble non-geniuses can understand this great man.

So, for example:

On what it's like to work with Jim Bowden after having worked with real baseball men like surefire Hall of Famer Bobby Cox and John Schuerholz:

I think he has done a very good job. I hope nobody noticed that that didn't answer the question he asked. We all know we have our limitations, and we all know that Jim has limitations. We also have some very exciting profit-making opportunities in Washington. He has done well within our limitations and opportunities and within his many limitations. We haven't even begun to talk about the Pacific Rim program that we are starting to put in place. Jim has been aggressive doing that. When I named him our GM, I may or may not have been on quaaludes, the most single thing about him is how resourceful (read: frugal) he is. He will look under every rock to try to bring assets to our club at rock-bottom prices, and, so far, that is exactly what he has tried to do, while mostly failing.

Still waiting for someone to plug Esskay's answers into the Gar-Bot and see what questions it spits out, or something like that.

By Dan Steinberg  |  December 1, 2006; 10:59 AM ET
Categories:  Nats  
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