Bill Aimed at Couch Burners
The headline writer for the Charleston Daily Mail pretty much nailed it: Bill Aimed at Couch Burners. Lawmakers want to increase the fines for good old-fashioned victory celebrators. Next thing you know, they'll go after the bloggers who celebrate the celebrators, or the people who brought you the Play Like Your Couch is on Fire t-shirts.
(Note: a mean-spirited blogger might point out how College Park officials were considering a similar measure, but how they backed down when they realized that there don't seem to be many celebrators nowadays. Cause, you know, the Terps don't win much. Get it? Look, I"m still getting over a cold, gimme a break.)
Anyhow, the best part of this story, which was brought to your attention by fellow Post blogger Frank Ahrens, is the recitation of some couch-burning stories of yore. Like this:
[Morgantown Fire Chief Dave] Fetty remembered one time when about 5,000 people crowded onto University Avenue in Sunnyside around a giant bonfire.
There had just been a football game down the street at the old stadium where the College of Business and Economics now sits.
The crowd was too big for emergency officials to disperse, but the fire needed to be extinguished, Fetty said.
Firefighters just turned on the water hoses up the hill from the crowd and let the water run down under the crowd's feet, he said.
It turned out to be a stroke of genius. The crowd got tired of wearing soggy shoes and thinned out. The fire slowly turned to embers, Fetty said.
It was a great plan, I'll admit, but I'm not convinced dampening the sneakers of would-be couch burners should necessarily be classified as genius. Dampening their couches, maybe. Anyhow, couch burning is already well in decline, the story says, and this might be the final downhill trickle of water on an already soggy shoe.
January 22, 2007; 2:42 PM ET
Categories: College Football
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