Caron Touches Gilbert All the Time
Gilbert doesn't talk to the media on practice days if he can at all avoid it, and usually he can. He sat on the sidelines at practice today, heckling the starters for being outscored 19-0 by the reserves, but then he disappeared. And so we were left asking his teammates and coach a million Gilbert questions. Here's what Caron said when asked about double-teaming Gilbert late in games:
"I don't think it matters," he said. "I mean, when he feels like that....Man, he's in a zone right now. You know, that's why I touch him all the time. I touch him all the time, just to get his, I don't know, I want to get a feel of him. Like man, I want your streak, I want to get that feel. Man, he's killing....I need that swag in my life."
I tried asking where exactly Caron touches Gilbert. He definitely heard me, but he didn't answer. Later, Jarvis Hayes emerged, dressed all in white, radiating calm. He said he touches Gilbert, too. I thought the NBA was trying to cut down on contact. I know the NFL has that "illegal touching" rule; maybe the NBA needs to follow suit.
"Everybody wants him to rub off," Jarvis said. "He's playing at an unbelievable level right now. If you can get close to him and kind of get some of his mojo, I would, too."
Someone else (I swear) asked what exactly is being touched in these touching sessions.
"Everything," Jarvis said. "Everything."
"Everything?" I asked, attempting to usher this blog item along to its logically juvenile conclusion.
"Well, not everything," Jarvis acknowledged.
[Edit: Jeez, who wrote this headline, me?]
[The Caron audio clip will likely be played a lot on local radio. If you pay attention, you'll note that Caron sounds a bit like he's mumbling, like he's got something in his mouth. Like, gum, perhaps. Or, maybe, a masticated straw.
"Gum or straw?" I asked as he left for a private interview with the Washington Times.
"Straw," he said. "McDonald's straw."
Still the weirdest thing going on these Wizards. Guy stands there, after practice, doing interviews, his cheek bulging with a chewed-up fast-food straw. Coming next week: Caron Butler: I'm Not Quirky.]
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